Shine OnYoung girl writes ‘insane’ Christmas list
Yesterday, Deadspin writer Drew Magary posted his 7-year-old daughter's "insane Christmas list" online.
He admits that, as a child, he would dream up the most ridiculous presents to put on his list, and it seems the proverbial apple hasn't fallen far from the tree when it comes to letters to Santa.
"Now I'm the parent and it's my turn to engage in the futile task of managing my child's expectations. This is the actual wish list that my daughter, who is 7, handed me a few weeks ago. It's completely unreasonable and I have no way of explaining this to her without being a dick, or without her thinking I'm pulling some reverse-psychology sh*t on her," he writes.
On the little girl's list are a few of the expected things: an American Girl doll — must be "Doll of the Year 2014" — Monster High ear buds, and "all of the Beanie Babies."
Also see: Funny letter to Santa is a hoax
The other items? Not so reasonable.
A thousand dollars, "a new canapé that glows up" — "So, like, a glowing miniature crabcake with a toothpick in it? I could maybe do that. MAYBE," Magary annotates — five North Face jackets, a border collie, a light up Razor Scooter in the colour blue, an iPod touch, and "a little thing that can turn into anything at anytime."
She's "so, so bold," Magary writes to Good Morning America. "I couldn't turn down the boldness if I tried."
When asked if his daughter has given him any clues as to what "a little thing that can turn into anything at anytime" is, Magary shares his best guess:
"It's basically a devious way for her to get an iPhone," he writes in an email to Shine On. "She has said she wishes that money was free and that iPhones had no bills, so this is clearly her attempt to get something that will become an iPhone. She's circumventing the process."
Also see: How to give without breaking the bank
How does this letter compare to last year's?
"I honestly don't remember but she got the American Girl doll THAT year and it was okay. I do not remember her being overjoyed with her haul. I feel like every kid wants one more present than they get," Magary writes, adding that his expectation-management strategy this year includes "drinking" and bluntness.
"My hope is that I've said NOT A PRAYER enough times for it to sink in."
Magary's daughter's letter is not unique. Kids everywhere are listing over-the-top, unattainable items on their wish lists this year.
Magary hopes to counteract the adorable greed with the spirit of giving this season.
"We're trying to do more community work and get the kids to GIVE gifts this year as well, so that they get more of the charitable idea of Christmas. My hunch is that we will fail. But on we go," he writes.
How do you manage your young one's expectations during the holidays?
