When Parents Are Too Busy to Play
Photo by Corbis
Maintaining a clean home and spending time with the children who live in it is a struggle most parents face. There will always be clothes to iron and dishes to wash, but also fleeting moments of childhood passing by, and never enough time in the day to accomplish everything on your to-do list.
Stressing out over finding that perfect balance is nothing new. A recent Care.com survey revealed that one in four working moms cry by themselves at least once a week due to household-related stress.
One busy father tackled the topic in a poignant New York Times essay called “Please Forgive My Spotless Home.” David McGlynn writes about being “wracked with guilt” for blowing off his two sons to clean their house.
“An entire weekend had slipped by and we had barely looked each other in the eye until the moment I had spurned Galen’s invitation to join him outside,” he laments. “Our exchange on the staircase was the closest we had come to a conversation all weekend, and I had screamed at him.” (In the end, McGlynn says that his son forgives him, reminding all parents that a mistake we make one day can usually be fixed.)
It’s tough to keep your life in order while being an engaged parent, though. Amy McCready, author of If I Have to Tell You One More Time, says there are a few easy ways to make it a little easier.
Find ways to incorporate fun into daily chores: “Get your children involved in every day activities such as cooking, so you can also spend time together. Even preschoolers can tear lettuce or set the table.” McCready tells Yahoo Parenting. Lots of parents position play kitchens in or near the dining area so cooking and playing go hand-in-hand. You can easily take sips of soup your child is ‘cooking,’ while the chicken roasts in the oven. Or, while folding laundry, ask kids to match socks or use their superhero muscles to pull sheets and blankets off the bed.
Schedule playtime: Many kids can tell the difference between housework and real playing, but one way to separate the two is to schedule quality time in 15 to 20-minute chunks. That way, your child won’t feel like they’re competing (with your phone, work emails or vacuum cleaner) for attention. Also: You don’t have to curate homemade activities all the time. Watch a movie, visit a golf course, or go sight-seeing.
Don’t try to do it all: Select one night a week to order food delivery. While you wait for the pizza to arrive, suggest a card game or fire up the Wii. And rest assured that ordering in isn’t a cop-out. In fact, McCready challenges the Pinterest-perfect world that we live in where everything looks, tastes, and smells pristine. “We all need to be more realistic,” she says.
