Real Women Reveal How Career takes a Back Seat Post-Marriage
Last year, Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook, caused quite some stir with her book Lean In: Women, Work and the Will to Lead. The book delves into the reasons why women haven’t made much presence felt in the leadership roles. It gives anecdotes about women at the top having to leave their careers to take care of their homes. The book sparked several debates on the global platform on whether women can “have it all or not”.
While the answer is subject to a widespread debate, a recent survey by Jeevansathi, an Indian matrimonial website, brings forth some insights related to the subject. According to the survey, a woman’s priorities change dramatically after marriage.
The survey questioned over 1500 women about their priorities. A whopping 53 per cent said that their career was their number one priority before marriage. After marriage, their partner became their first priority while job and career ranked fourth!
Recommended Read: 8 Best Ways for Newlyweds to Balance Work and Married Life
Based on that survey, we talked to a few women, to find out reasons why career takes a back seat for most women after marriage. And, here is what we found:
Joint family:
Some of the reasons that women give for leaving their jobs after marriage includes- taking care of in-laws, sharing responsibilities with the sister-in-law, social obligations, and in some cases in-laws’ disapproval of a working daughter-in-law.
“Even though my mother-in-law is very cooperative and is just like my mother, but still I was uncomfortable working in the 11.30 to 8:30 shift that I was working in before marriage. You cannot deny your responsibilities as you have to take care of everything from home and husband to office. It is difficult to adjust sometimes with household work, after coming from office and all,” says Renu Ahalawat.
Agreeing with that, Surabhi Goel, a media professional, adds, “Priorities definitely change. Sometimes it is due to family pressure that constantly insinuates you to change your career path; or as an emotional person, you yourself decide to opt for a job that is less demanding and gives you more time to spend with your partner and family.”
Recommended Read: How to Make Your Mother-in-Law Love You Forever
House responsibilities:
Nishi Sharma, confessed to us and said, “My working hours were too long, keeping me away from home for as much as 11 hours. I could not keep up with that, since I had to cook as well. So, I opted for a work-from-home job, which paid less but allowed me to spend more time at home.” Given the household responsibilities, looking for comfort, most women do not mind compromising on their career. But why is that so?
“I feel that even today, it is believed that whether a woman is working or not, her priority should be taking care of her home and in-laws, and doing housework. It is assumed that she will manage both, which actually takes a toll on her and she eventually decides to give up one of the two things– more often than not, it is her career,” elaborates Megha Sehgal, who changed her work shift that caused her promotion to delay by a year.
Recommended Read: Household Chores that Women Want their Men to Do
Avoiding ego clashes:
Parul S. was working as a successful hospitality professional before she got married to the love of her life. Her husband’s career did not progress as much as hers did. Not only did she get a handsome raise in her salary, but also got plenty of opportunities to travel abroad. Noticing that this wasn’t going down too well with her husband, she decided to give up her job citing stress as the reason. “I did not want to give up what we had because of my career. I prioritised love over career,” Parul revealed to us.
Recommended Read: 4 Lessons Indian Husbands Must Learn from Sachin Tendulkar
Family planning:
Even if marriage doesn’t make a woman rethink her career plans, motherhood definitely does. HR department of all corporate houses would tell you how most women do not turn up after their maternity leaves, or ask for flexible timings. Taking care of the baby naturally takes primacy. Several women we spoke to took up jobs as freelancers, work-from-home, or just quit their well-paying jobs, so that they could take care of the baby.
Recommended Read: 5 Steps to Keep Romance Alive in Your Marriage after Motherhood
Husband's support:
Women managing their career well even after marriage cite their husbands' support as the main reason for being able to do so. Neutral stance usually leads women to stress about their jobs and eventually prioritise home.
There are several examples of women creating a fine balance between work and life after marriage– be it Chanda Kochhar, CEO, ICICI Bank, or the very glamorous Madhuri Dixit. Support from their families, and unconditional love from their husbands are the top most reasons, they state.
Recommended Read: Rising Trend of House Husbands and their Working Wives
So, what do you have to say about these changing priorities after marriage? If you have any other reason to share with us apart from these, then do leave your comments below.
