Onion Goggles: the Goofy Kitchen Gadget You'll Actually Love
YES. It’s what we say to things that are awesome. Yes.
Superhero attire or onion goggles? Photo credit: Bed, Bath, and Beyond.
It was a normal day at the Yahoo Food offices, comparing notes about weekend cooking projects. I was showboating about the ratatouille and caramelized onion tarts I made over the weekend and laughing that I almost walked out of the house wearing onion goggles instead of my regular glasses.
"What? Onion goggles?" a younger colleague inquired.
"Yes, of course. Onion goggles. Crucial.”
A third colleague joined us. I swiveled to her: “Onion goggles?”
"Oh, OF COURSE," she said, without pause.
We both eyed the alien, non-goggle-owning colleague.
They are ugly. They are unwieldy. But onion goggles are hella useful, and have saved me from becoming a mascara-ed mess on several occasions.
No one wants to show up for dinner at your house to find you bleary-eyed due to the sulfuric compounds released by chopping those suckers. Onion goggles create a barrier that keeps the gas from reaching your tear ducts, fitting snugly around the eyes thanks to a little layer of foam. Leaving you stoic and ready to greet your guests.
So buy yourself some onion goggles. You’ll find them for $20 or less, and you’ll feel like a superhero (especially in these tough red beauties). On those days when you have, for whatever reason, a particularly Emotional Shallot or a dangerously Emo Yellow Onion, they will totally save the day.
Just don’t walk outside with them still on your face. Preserve a shred of dignity.
