Mom, 92, Adopts Daughter, 76
Muriel Clayton, 92, had adopted Mary Smith, 76, after raising her since the age of 11. (Photo: Dallas Morning News/YouTube)
Two women have finally made their mother-daughter relationship official in a Texas adoption court on Tuesday — at the never-too-late ages of 92 and 76, respectively.
“It’s something I’ve been thinking about for several years,” mom Muriel Clayton of Dallas tells Yahoo Parenting about adopting Mary Smith, who is actually her first cousin. “And I said, ‘I’m 92. If I don’t do it now I may never do it.’” On Mother’s Day, she told Smith she finally wanted to make it official.
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As she told the Dallas Morning News: “I’m a jigsaw puzzle person. And it’s so wonderful when you snap that last piece in place and have a beautiful picture. This is the last piece of my puzzle.”
Their story here began over six decades ago, when Smith was 11. That’s when Smith’s father (Clayton’s uncle) died suddenly of a heart attack. Because Smith’s mom had been in and out of treatment for mental illness, she went to live temporarily with Clayton — who was already raising four younger daughters, ranging in age from a few months to 7 years old. She didn’t stay long at first, but by the age of 14 she moved in permanently with her cousin’s family.
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Clayton, who stayed at home with the kids while her husband worked as a music teacher at the University of Texas, says she didn’t hesitate to welcome her. “I loved my uncle,” she explains. “And it was just, you know, family.”
Photo: Dallas Morning News/YouTube
As far as her daughters adjusting to having a new big sister around, she recalls, “They were all very close already, so there wasn’t anything to adjust to. The little ones didn’t even know Mary wasn’t their normal sister until they grew up.”
The mom of five wound up going to work in a doctor’s office when her youngest girl turned 6 — a job she held for more than 20 years — and today she’s a sharp-minded, computer-savvy bridge player and theatergoer. Smith, married to her college sweetheart, is still working, and lives near Clayton along with two of the other daughters.
The adoption was a long time coming, Clayton, now twice widowed, says, because Smith’s mother lived for a long time and she didn’t want to hurt her. “I would never have asked her to give up her child,” she says, adding that decision to finally make the adoption official was an emotional, not financial one. “She’s been in my will for years. This was just making it legal.”
The prevalence of adult adoptions is not known, as these are the types of adoptions that aren’t tracked, explains April Dinwoodie, executive director of the Donaldson Adoption Institute, a national research and policy organization. “But this informal type of ‘kinship adoption’ may happen more often than we think,” she tells Yahoo Parenting. “I love it when I hear about these later-in-life adoptions, because they are a symbol of the real value we place in our society on parentage, and on legalized parentage. It’s important for people to formalize their role of a parent — even when those people happen to be in their 70s and 90s.”
After the ceremony, Clayton says she was “thrilled,” as were her two daughters there for support, as “they all think of her as their sister anyway.” Then the four women, along with Smith’s husband Bob, went out for a celebratory lunch.
Judge Kim Cooks presided over the adoption in a Dallas courtroom, presenting each woman with a white orchid — rather than the traditional teddy bear given to adopted children — once it was complete. “She wanted to make it official before she leaves this earth,” Cooks, who has officiated at adoptions for a dozen years but never one quite so unique, tells Yahoo Parenting. “And I’m so glad she did.”
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