Dad Supports Breastfeeding Wife in Head-Turning Photo
The photo people are buzzing about. Photo by Tamar Shugert.
Controversy around public breastfeeding is not unique to the U.S. — the latest proof of which comes from a mom in Israel, whose clever photo illustrating the topic has been creating buzz on social media since she posted it on Facebook.
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“I should feed my baby where???” photographer Tamar Shugert, 28, wrote in the caption of her cheeky self-portrait, in which she’s uncomfortably perched upon a toilet with an infant (actually a teddy bear) nursing under a cover. Her dejected-looking image is paired with one of her husband, who is in the same position but eating a plate of pasta, with a pained expression on his face. “My baby eating is not a gross side effect of having children,” the caption continues. “If you are not willing to eat your lunch in the bathroom, then don’t expect me to feed my kid there.”
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Shugert is a professional photographer who lives in Jerusalem with her husband Daniel (the owner of a media-production studio) and their two sons, ages 2 and 4. She’s also pregnant with their third child.
The mom posted the side-by-side images on the Facebook photography page 52Frames in late February — in response to a photo challenge called “Make a Statement” — and it’s since been shared nearly 1,200 times. “While I’ve never personally been asked to ‘go to the bathroom’ to breastfeed — not that I would if I was asked — I have heard from friends of mine that this has happened to them,” Shugert tells Yahoo Parenting through an email. “And seeing how I am pregnant, I guess this topic is on my mind.”
Facebook commenters were generally supportive, such as the mom who wrote, “I breastfeed anywhere and anytime. If you don’t like it, cover your face.” Others, though, were not quite feeling the message. “I think this is a misrepresentation,” wrote one woman. “The baby doesn’t care where it is fed. It is the mother who is uncomfortable, and using their child to gain ‘public breast feeding’ sympathy. I chose not to pop my boob out in public, there are plenty of other place to feed a baby that is not a bathroom.”
But there was a bigger controversy that stemmed from the photos, when pro-breastfeeders got angry that she was covered while nursing. “People took offense to the fact that I was wearing a nursing cover,” says Shugert. “I don’t ever want to be inconvenienced by being asked to leave a place to go nurse, but I don’t want to inconvenience others by showing them a body part that’s usually covered. Some of the commenters were saying that breasts shouldn’t be sexual. But I believe that breasts have a dual purpose, and that they are sexual. In my culture — Orthodox Judaism — sexuality is used as a powerful force within marriages and not something to be shown to everybody.” Her husband, she adds, is “amazing and my biggest fan and supporter, both in my photography and parenting. I hope both my boys grow up to be like him.”
Shugert’s photos are reminiscent of those from a past series, “When Nurture Calls,” that went viral in 2014. Those images, part of a student ad campaign in Texas, depicted young moms nursing babies (uncovered) on public toilets, with titles like “table for two” and “private dining.” It also kicked up a hornet’s nest of both support and anger — as does a continuing stream of public breastfeeding news, including the recent incidents and subsequent apologies from both Goodwill and Golden Corral on behalf of its mom-shaming employees.
In Israel, Shugert notes, the issue is not one that comes up in the media much — perhaps explaining her surprise at the attention her photos have received. At its heart, she says, the post was a plea for folks to just get along. “I really believe that the way to make this world a better place is to treat others the way you want to be treated, and that’s why I think that nursing covers are a wonderful compromise,” she says. “I believe that everyone should feel comfortable in their day-to-day life, whether it’s nursing, or having lunch, or both.”
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