Online dating sites not helping those who need it, says Harvard researcher

Is online dating really helping to connect the shy and lovelorn, or is it better suited to those who are more attractive and gregarious in real life?

Fascinating research by Harvard Business School associate professor Mikolaj Piskorski shows that it may be just as difficult for people on online dating sites to make electronic overtures as it is for them to approach potential romantic interests in real life.

In other words, for less desirable dating partners, there's a whole lot of window-shopping happening, but not an awful lot of buying going on.

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Having studied data from over 500,000 users on popular online dating site OKCupid, Piskorski found that while heterosexual men who are older, shorter and overweight tend to view more female profiles than their younger, taller and trimmer counterparts, they tend to send fewer messages to women than the younger men.

This same phenomenon is true with taller women — who presumably have a harder time finding a partner on account of height disparities.

Piskorski's conclusion is that instead of being pro-active and sending a "hello" to people whose profiles they are interested in, those in the less-desirable dating pool avoid making contact because they are already anticipating romantic rejection.

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Women in general are also putting themselves at a disadvantage on dating sites.

"Even though women look at as many profiles as men do, they message men much less," Piskorksi says. "It seems that these sites have done little to overcome a very restrictive social norm that makes it inappropriate for women to make the first move."

However, when women receive "quiver matches" from the OK cupid site — hand-picked members who are a good potential match for them — women were more likely to reach out and make first contact. After all, the website had already taken the first step towards introducing them.

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