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Is 4-year-old Harper Beckham too old for a pacifier? The debate rages on

Thinkstock
Thinkstock

In a recent photo of Harper Beckham, she looked like any other adorable preschooler. The adorable offspring of Victoria and David Beckham’s hair was done up in little buns, she was wearing a white dress covered in pink stars and had flip-flops on her feet. The four-year-old also happened to have a pacifier in her mouth.

When The Daily Mail ran a story on Harper’s pacifier use and the possible health effects the Internet lost its collective mind. On the one side of the debate there were many comments like this one taking a hard stance on dummies (apparently the British word for pacifier):

“I cannot bare to see a child past 2 years with a dummy! Lazy parenting!”

Then, came the other side with comments sections filled up with messages like this:

Pacifier for any age. MYOB, people!”

This is not the first time a tiny celebrity has been at the centre of the seemingly endless pacifier debate. Back in 2011, a four-year-old Suri Cruise, the child of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, sparked a similar fiery debate about what age exactly is too old to use a pacifier.

A debate as old as time

“Pacifiers, also known as soothers, dummies and artificial teats are as rooted in history as they are in controversy,” acknowledges The Canadian Paediatric Society’s position statement on the use of pacifiers. “Pacifiers made of clay, silver, pearl or coral, and sugar teats have been described, some dating back to over thousands of years.”

Over those thousands of years there have been seemingly endless shifting debates and beliefs about pacifiers.

In current times, the society’s position statement was posted in 2003 and reaffirmed in 2014. It does not specify a specific age for when children should stop using pacifiers. It does, however, note that a vast majority, about 84 per cent, of infants in Canada use one at least some of the time.

While the society does not weigh in on the age-old age debate one of its recommendations states: “Until further research leads to more conclusive evidence on adverse outcomes, health care professionals should recognize pacifer use as a parental choice determined by the needs of their newborn, infant or child.”

David Beckham/Instagram
David Beckham/Instagram

Health and safety concerns

That being said, an informational website for parents by the society does note: “Using a pacifier incorrectly can lead to problems with breastfeeding, teeth (cavities and overbite), and possibly ear infections.”

And, “homemade pacifiers, sweetened pacifiers or pacifiers tied around a baby’s neck are not safe and could lead to injury or death. If you choose to use a pacifier for your baby, use it wisely and safely.”

For those adults who will only be pacified by a specific age cut-off the Canadian Dental Association does kind of give one – it’s “about age five” for both pacifiers and thumb-sucking.

It's best to get your child to stop sucking before permanent teeth come in, at about age five. If a child keeps sucking a soother or thumb after the permanent teeth have come in, it could cause problems with how the jaw and teeth grow,” advises the association’s website.

While the association acknowledges babies like to suck on things to relax, they should start to grow out of the self-soothing behaviour at about age two to three, according to the association. If your child doesn’t, then a pacifier is better than the thumb. Why?

“Because you can control when and how your child uses a soother. You can't control a thumb going into the mouth,” says the dental association’s website.

Weaning them off

If you are among the majority who have let your child use a pacifier you should wean them off of it sooner rather than later, advises Ann Douglas, an Ontario-based author of several books on pregnancy and parenting.

“It’s much easier to get a child when they’re really young, between six to twelve months of age,” said the Ontario-based mother of four in a phone interview with Yahoo Canada.

If your child is really, really attached to their pacifier and they are Harper’s age try to suggest other coping strategies, such as encuraging them to "use their words" or give them a hug, Douglas said.

But, if your child is four and still sucking on a soother don’t stress out too much. You don’t see many adults walking around with soothers in their mouths, even late bloomers eventually grow out of using a pacifier. Kids seem not to progress, then grow up in leaps and bounds before your very eyes, said Douglas, whose children now range in age from 17 to 27.

And remember “peer pressure will kick in eventually” for your child, she adds.

Peer pressure from fellow parents

But, if you’re being criticized for your parenting choices, like the Beckhams were, don’t give in. After the Mail story ran David Beckham himself responded to it on Instagram, writing in part: “"Why do people feel they have the right to criticise a parent about their own children without having any facts?" 

You know your child best and other parents should essentially be told to MYOB (mind your own business). Parents are quite fond of saying “if that was my child…,” but Harper is not your child, points out the parenting expert.

“People are doing the best that they can,” said Douglas, whose children never liked pacifiers. “It’s not helpful to play armchair quarterback or backseat driver.”

Or the pacifier police.