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How your birth order affects your love life

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Thinkstock

Birth order is often cited as a factor that influences personality, but can it also help shape a person’s love life?

A new survey from dating site Match suggests as much, with youngest, oldest, middle and only children reporting varying outlooks on dating.

“Where you are born in the birth order affects a lot of your behaviours in life, and it also affects your approach to fining love and dealing with romantic situations,” says Toronto-based therapist Kimberly Moffitt, Match’s relationship insider. “Birth order is something that’s been studied a lot, but nothing’s predetermined at birth; you always have your unique personality. While everyone’s experience is different, your birth order can affect key behaviours like how you deal with conflict, your work ethic, or how much attention you desire.”

The national survey revealed several contrasts between people of different birth orders when it comes to romance and relationships.

The oldest child is the most optimistic, with 73 per cent of respondents saying they believe you can stay married to the same person forever. The survey of more than 1,000 Canadian singles also found that the eldest is the least open to having a one-night stand (60 per cent) and the most likely to pay for a first date (43 per cent).

The middle child is most likely to stay friends with an ex (51 per cent) and most likely to fake an emergency to leave a date that isn’t working out (25 per cent). He’s also most likely to date more than one person at a time, with 10 per cent admitting to dating two to three people at once.

Flirtatious and lustful could describe the younger child, with 80 per cent claiming to flirt and 24 per cent admitting to thinking about sex several times a day. The baby is also the most likely to consider having sex on the first date, with 41 per cent reporting they would.

Finally, the survey found that only children are the least likely to pretend to like something that their partner likes (39 per cent), the least likely to have been asked out in the last year (38 per cent), and the most likely to wait for the other person to reach out after a first date (29 per cent).

Based on the survey findings, Moffitt describes the oldest child as the “responsible romantic.”

“Children born first are, in terms of psychology and the way they interact with the world, typically most responsible,” she says. “That happens as a result of getting a lot of attention early on and the parents having high expectations for first child. They’re very conscientious for the most part, hard-working, and very eager to please their parents.

“So when it comes to dating and they’re most likely to pay for a first date, that’s the conscientious, responsible part of them coming through,” she adds. “Being the most likely to believe they can be married to the same person forever shows they know it’s about work. The eldest is probably going to be the most likely to put work into dating, because work is what translates into relationships. It’s not just about finding a relationship but maintaining a relationship.”

The middle child, Moffitt says, doesn’t like to disappoint people.

“Having to balance the needs of older and younger siblings can turn middle children into natural people pleasers, and these social skills can make them appealing dates,” Moffitt says.

The youngest child is the flirt of the family. “They’re very charismatic, very charming; that’s how they catch their parents’ eye,” she notes.

The independent only child, meanwhile, tends to shoulder her parents expectations, leading to high standards. “They haven’t had to compete for attention so it makes sense that when it comes to dating, they’re most likely to wait for the other person to reach out,” Moffitt says. “They’re less hard-working than the eldest.”

Watch the video below to see how your birth order can impact your success.