Gifting Etiquette: Gifting with your in-laws – what you’re doing wrong

The holiday season is the No. 1 time of year to introduce your significant other to your family, according to a Canadian survey by Match.com.

And now you’re finally going to spend the holidays with your in-laws, huh? Sure it’s great that you and your partner are taking things to the next level, but now you have to decide if and what you should give them for the holidays.

But stop right there! You're already making the biggest mistake -- overthinking.

“People just feel too much pressure,” says Kimberly Moffit, a relationship expert based in Toronto, Ont. “Because it is such a delicate gift, people get nervous and sometimes overthink it.” But it all boils down to the thought that you put behind the gift. “You can’t really control how they respond to that,” she adds.

While Moffit says not to overthink gift-giving with the in-laws, here are three basic things you should know:

Don’t skip a gift. While you might think about skipping the gift completely, Moffit highly recommends that you don’t because it could cause negative effects on your relationship with your partner and his or her parents. “The absence of a gift can create confusion,” says Moffit, and your in-laws may jump to unfavourable conclusions.

Talk to your partner. He or she should be able to discuss what their parents like and dislike and help brainstorm ideas. Moffit suggests going for items that can contribute to the holiday experience, such as flowers or chocolates, because these items can be enjoyed by everyone at the family gathering.

Recover from a blunder. If your gift bombs, start by explaining your motivation behind the present. “It's the best way to help someone understand your point of view,” says Moffit. For example, if you gave your mother-in-law a book on healthy eating and she looks offended, you can explain that you remember having a conversation about trying out new superfoods. If you seem to be digging yourself further in a hole, look to your partner for support. "Your partner should be absolutely 100 per cent willing to defend you and help you get out of that,” says Moffit.

Do you have some other gift ideas for in-laws? Share them in the comments below.