Shine OnWhat to say when you get a gift that you don’t like
It's the season of giving, and whether it’s something you bought at the mall, something you made or something you wrote, there’s nothing quite like watching your friend or relative rip away wrapping paper and reward you with a big toothy smile.
But on the receiving end, what if you receive something you aren’t exactly in love with?
Elizabeth Etiquette, an etiquette expert based in Vancouver, B.C., says the bottom line is to not make a big deal of it.
"Ultimately, it would be a shame to ruin a good friendship or relationship over a toaster,” she tells Yahoo Canada Shine.
So what's the number one thing you must always, always (did we say, 'always,’ yet?) say?
“Thank you so much.”
But as we all know, it all comes down to a lot more than just the words that come out of our mouths.
“The smile on your face and the tone of your voice, your body language when someone gives you a gift is very important because that’s really sort of showing your appreciative side,” says Elizabeth. For example, saying, “Oh…” can “put a damper and silence in the room – completely,” says Elizabeth.
And while you may not actually like that snow globe or the bottle of ice wine, we’re suggesting you say "thank you" and focus on the fact that the giver was thinking of you when they bought it.
“I’m not telling people to lie… You’re not saying 'thank you' for the gift. You’re saying 'thank you' for that person’s time in thinking about you, and going out of their way to actually purchase the gift. You’re actually saying thank you for all the thought that they’ve put behind it.”
On the other hand, here are some examples of what Elizabeth deems to be the worst things to say:
“I got one just like it -- thank you so much -- do you have the gift receipt?” Just because you received two other toasters for Christmas doesn’t make it acceptable to blurt out the request in front of everyone. Doing that, Elizabeth says, is not appropriate.
“Oh, not another dust collector.” Enough said.
“I’ll add it to my collection” or “Thanks for bringing this bottle of wine, we’ve got lots in the cellar.” Elizabeth says that these phrases are demeaning of the gift, and you’re really saying, “I’ve got this, I don’t really need yours but thanks anyway.”
Another action Elizabeth warns about is your behavior on the way out of the room after you receive the gift. Muttering something like, “Here’s another present for the recycling bin” to your spouse may seem like a private joke, but people often overhear those things.
And at the end of the day, gift-giving should not be what defines your relationship with your friends and family.
“Friendships are precious and should be valued, and the gifts they bring should be accepted with grace and appreciation -- whether we like them or not,” says Elizabeth.
