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Do these online dating tips actually work? We tried them to find out

Do these online dating tips actually work? We tried them to find out

I have a wonderful job writing and a great circle of friends, but it can be a challenge to meet someone new. To add to these challenges, being over 40 can make it tricky, as the dating pool seems to have gotten smaller.

To try something new and potentially put my heart out there, I tried online dating. I have heard a mixture of stories from people who have tried dating online. Some met their true love and others had truly strange experiences.

To find out if there is a chance of finding my sweetheart on the net, I spoke with therapist and Canadian Match.com relationship insider Kimberly Moffit, who shared her top tips with me.

I put these tips into action recently and they helped. The suggestion that helped the most was keeping positive and focusing on what I want (rather than picking away on what I don’t want in a partner).

It’s an exciting time for online dating. According to a recent Match.com survey, 57 per cent of Canadian singles have tried online dating. It’s more common than ever to know a friend, family member or colleague who is meeting other singles online. I’d recommend to singles of all ages to remember that dating is fun. Typically, singles date to find someone with whom they are compatible. If the goal is to find someone you enjoy spending time with, then the journey to find that person shouldn’t feel like a chore.

Here are the expert tips I utilized:

Do...

Get help from a friend. Setting up your profile can be intimidating. Invite a trusted friend to help you complete your profile. A friend can remind you of your attractive qualities that you may forget to include and look out for typos. Plus, a buddy can turn a sometimes daunting task into a fun one.

Keep it short and sweet. That first e-mail is the hardest so keep it short and sincere. Comment on a shared interest or ask a question about something in their profile. Avoid asking very personal questions until you’ve exchanged a few messages.

Upload a silly picture. There’s no doubt that a nice photo in which you’re smiling is essential for your online dating profile, but a silly photo can help show off your personality.

Make time. Online dating isn’t that different from offline dating; both take time. Here’s an idea – set one day a week and determine that you’ll go on a date on that day each week. For example, if Wednesdays work for your schedule, then give yourself several days before Wednesday to connect with someone online and set a date.

Update your profile. You decided to register for the website, uploaded some photos, completed your profile and sent some messages. Your work should be done, right? We’re all dynamic people who change all of the time and our profiles should reflect that. Every few weeks or months make some updates to your profile to include new interests or a new outlook on what you’re looking for in a relationship.

Focus on what you want. When completing your profile, think about what you want out of a relationship rather than what you don’t want. Writing a list of things you don’t want in a partner or relationship runs the risk of looking negative. Instead, list qualities or activities that you enjoy.

Don't...

Overthink your own profile. Sometimes singles get deterred from online dating if they get stumped while putting together their profile. It’s important to be unique in your “about me” section, but if you can’t think of the perfect witty description then you shouldn’t give up. Remember that your profile can always be updated.

Obsess over the little things. Is his/her movie taste a bit different than yours? Is he 5’10" when you prefer guys who are 6’0" or taller? Remember that you’re looking for a spark, not necessarily the perfect guy or girl on paper. If their profile makes them seem funny, intelligent or another trait that you’re looking for, then it’s okay to overlook the small stuff.

Let one bad date get you down. Sometimes you have good dates and sometimes you have not so good dates, and that's OK. t’s important to remember that if after a date you don’t see yourself with that person forever, the date isn’t a complete failure. Did you enjoy meeting a new person? Did you learn something about yourself or about what you’re looking for in a partner? Then you’ve already gained something. Perhaps you went through a tough break up and it was your first date as a new single? Even without a spark, it’s still worth being proud of your courage for getting back into the dating scene. Not every date will result in a soul mate, but it’s important to enjoy the ride and have fun while meeting new people.