Shine On2 million Canadian couples in committed relationships are living apart
A little alone time never hurt anyone and for nearly two million Canadians in committed relationships, that also means heading back to their own home for the night – or maybe even the entire week.
According to a recent Statistics Canada report, 7.4 per cent of adults over the age of 20 identify as “living-apart together” couples (LAT), which means they maintain separate addresses even though they are in an exclusive and often long-term relationship.
They join the ranks of famous couples like Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter, who despite two children and more than a decade together, prefer to maintain independent residences on an adjoining property and instead come together whenever they like.
Also see: Man's photos from around the world show his girlfriend leading the way in every shot
It appears that on this side of the Atlantic, 1.9 million of us are engaged in something similar, whether by choice or by necessity. And surprisingly, it’s the older, Boomer-aged couples that are content to maintain this status quo.
“[Living-apart together] trends are moving downward for younger people and slightly upward for older people,” says Martin Turcotte, a senior analyst with StatsCan’s labour statistics division.
Within the 20 – 29 age group, 80 per cent said they eventually wanted to share the same roof with their significant other. That number is only 30 per cent for those aged 60 and older.
“Other studies have shown that people who are currently moving into their sixties [baby boomers] are much more likely than previous cohorts to be part of a LAT couple,” Turcotte adds.
“The figures appear to confirm this trend, since, among those 60 and over, there was a decrease in the proportion of people not in a stable relationship and a slight increase in LAT couples.”
CBC’s Metro Morning spoke to sex and relationship expert Josey Vogels, who suggested that many older people who have moved into new partnerships – whether through widowhood or late-in-life divorce – may not want to uproot and leave their familiar surroundings to start anew.
Creative types, she adds, may simply require their own space to be artistic “and when they want to see their partner they can come together in a way that they can anticipate each other and it keeps the magic in the relationship.”
Also see: Man fakes his own kidnapping to avoid girlfriend's wrath
For others, the situation was rooted in economics. An uncertain job climate means many couples have had to separate in order to take employment in different cities. In fact, 42 per cent of those polled admitted they were living apart because of financial or study-related circumstances.
Others may simply be “redefining” the long-held social structure of relationships. Thirty-nine per cent of LAT couples said they were in this situation by choice. Within that group, nearly 25 per cent said they wanted to keep their independence, while almost half admitted they simply weren’t ready to move in with their loved one.
According to Vogels, that’s a good thing.
“I think that’s the beauty of them,” Vogels says. “Once you get out of the relationship mold and the traditional rules you can make your own rules. I think this is why we’re seeing so many models because people can tailor-fit their relationships.”
Where do you stand on the co-habitation front?
