How Romantic Are You? 5 Ways to Rev Up the Romance Reality
By Romance Recovery's Johanna Lyman for GalTime.com
Did you know that August is Romance Awareness Month? Before you dismiss the idea as another Hallmark holiday, please read on.
One of the reasons August was chosen as Romance Awareness month is that for many of us, going away on vacation is one of the most romantic things we do... especially when we can leave the children behind with grandma. Recently, a study was published by romantic social network Zoosk.com. They polled 2,300 Americans to find out how they felt about romance.
78% of those polled thought that romance is "very important" to a relationship, and another 20% felt it was "somewhat important" (leaving my 15-year-old daughter among the 2% who don't think romance is important at all).
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How do you define romance? It's one of those words that you know when you're experiencing it, but it's not easy to pin down a definition. I consider romance to be the things you do to let your partner know they are special to you. According to the people polled or the Zoosk survey, romantic gestures can include giving your partner a hug and a kiss (preferred by 41% of couples and 32% of singles) or taking them to a candlelit dinner (preferred by 39% of couples and 44% of singles). To some, a scant 2% of those surveyed, even taking out the trash can be a romantic gesture. There are an almost limitless number of things you can do to be romantic, and these things generally fall in five broad categories. Here are some suggestions to help you make the most of this romantic month.
1. Romantic words. If you are the type to appreciate positive verbal messages, you'll think it's romantic when your partner compliments you, especially if it's out of the blue. On the flip side, criticism will cut you to the quick. While I know it's not romantic to have to ask for nice words, it is perfectly acceptable to let your partner know how much you appreciate hearing them.
2. Spend time together. This is my personal favorite. You don't have to go out to a fancy dinner or go away on vacation, although those are always fun. Going for a walk together or sitting down to dinner at home and really talking, rather than just reporting about your day, will make you feel connected. It's not even always about talking, just the physical presence of your loved one can be enough to make you feel loved.
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3. Give a gift. Are you someone who just loves being surprised with flowers or small gifts for no reason? If so, then gift giving is an important part of your romantic repertoire. If your partner misses a birthday or anniversary, he'll be in the doghouse for days. If you love getting gifts but they're not always in your budget, a card or hand-written note works just as well. It's the thought that counts; you'd rather an inexpensive but thoughtful gift to a generic one.
4. Do something nice. People for whom "acts of service" are important are the ones most likely to take out the trash without being asked. If you're one of these people, your partner will score major points for doing the dishes, cleaning the litter box or doing anything that's typically your job. You'll know that this expression of love is important to you if you feel neglected or angry when your partner has to be asked to do every little thing.
5. Physical touch. Some people crave physical touch as an expression of love. Not necessarily sexual touch, but all types of physical touch are important. Holding hands, a good hug, or just sitting close enough on the couch that your legs touch will make you feel warm and connected to your partner. Of course, a good romp in the hay will send you heart soaring too. It helps to pay attention to the things your partner reacts to; the things he feels most appreciative about.
A Final Thought: Expressing Love Messages
While spending time together may be how you wish to experience connection, he may think that taking out the garbage or doing the dishes without being asked just screams "I love you." We tend to give expressions of love the way we prefer to receive them. Sometimes both partners respond to the same types of expressions, but not always. If you and your partner seem to have a recurring fight theme of "you don't understand me," or "you don't appreciate me" it's likely because you have different ways of expressing and receiving love messages.
Happy Romance Awareness Month! How do you keep the love alive? Let us know!
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