Red Flag or Quirk? How to Tell the Difference


By Sarah Ribeiro for Cupid's Pulse

We've all heard enough urban legends about the dating world to sometimes feel like every potential partner is a cheating, psycho, kidney-stealing horror-date. However, sometimes what you think may be red flags are just quirks that you have to learn to accept in a person … and understanding that difference is essential. A quirk is something that isn't troublesome in the long term, no matter how strange it seems, while a red flag can be detrimental to your relationship or even your personal well-being. Sure, quirks might not be preferred, but it's those red flags you really need to avoid. Here are two dating quirks and two red flags to help you categorize your partner's behavior and determine if it's time to call it quits:

Related: Ten Signs You're Dating a Jerk

Quirk 1. Flirting: A lot of people have a problem when their partner flirts with other people, but more often than not, that's just jealousy on their part. There's a difference between a person who is naturally flirtatious or friendly, and one who is actively hitting on other people. Before you dismiss your beau for flirting too much, think about what kind of person your partner is, and where your own jealousy level rests.

Quirk 2. Being plugged in: These days, a lot of people really are turned off by the smart phone fad. Sure, being attached to your phone can be seen as a social addiction, but it isn't exactly a red flag. After all, living in our fast-paced society has driven most people to be dependent on their devices, so it's not too concerning if you've never seen your date without their phone. However, if their phone becomes a priority over you, it's become a red flag and it's time to call it quits.

Red Flag 1. Talking about their ex: This should be obvious, but for some people it isn't. If your significant other talks about their ex all the time, that's a clear sign that they aren't over them. Why would you want to be in a relationship with someone who is still emotionally attached to someone else? It's a red flag-run away.

Related: The Authors of 'The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags' Help You Avoid a Dating Disaster

Red Flag 2. Mystery: Pop culture has taught us that being mysterious is sexy, but that's hardly the case. Keeping things from your mate just shows that you're dishonest and that you have something to hide. If the person you're dating isn't open, they can't be open to the idea of loving you.