"We Married Ourselves on a Mountaintop"
Who knew: Couples can marry themselves, no priest or rabbi in sight, in the state of Colorado. One daring couple did just that on 12/12/12, with only two guests. Each other.
By Danielle Hult
On Dec. 13, 2012, I took a deep breath and told the world via Facebook status update that my fiancé, Steve, and I, had eloped.
"I did this really sneaky thing yesterday," I said. "I married my best friend. On a mountain. In the cold. Just us two!!!"
"There's this funny thing you can do here in Colorado," I continued, as 144 "likes" started popping up. "You can marry yourselves. No priest, no rabbi, no justice of the peace, no witnesses. Just you and the person you love."
Steve and I got together 10 years-to the day-before our mountaintop marriage on 12/12/12. We met the very first day of college at New York University, and were soon friends. I thought he was handsome but strange, largely due to him wearing Hawaiian shirts every day (even though he's from New Jersey, not far from my hometown in Long Island.)
We were both a little quirky and looking for adventure in the big city. I'm the type of person to spontaneously chop all of my hair into a pixie cut; Steve's a dedicated wrestler who wanted to be a mountain man and live in a log cabin. (He'd eventually get his chance.)
We fell in love while eating our way through New York City, but being serious in college was hard. We separated when I went abroad to Italy in my sophomore year, got back together, then split again when he moved to Florida after graduation. We dated other people here and there, but never found the sort of love we had with each other. We were back together in New York and doing great in 2010, when the company where I work as a project manager announced they were relocating to Boulder, Colo.
Steve told me the decision was mine to make on my own. He didn't want me to keep my life in New York for him. It was tough, but I felt really empowered by the opportunity, and I decided to go. But I was also nervous, because I thought my relationship with Steve could possibly end. I wanted him to come too, and do his mountain man thing, but I knew moving across the country was a lot to expect from someone with roots planted firmly in New York.
Little did I know that as I headed out to Boulder, he was shopping for an engagement ring. Steve moved out, and together in Colorado, we found new adventures, like hot air ballooning and snowboarding. We hit the ground running at work, and because it was so busy, relaxation was my only focus when we took an impromptu weekend trip to San Francisco.
The weather was pretty miserable as we were climbing down under the Golden Gate Bridge to take photos. Steve asked me to pull out my camera and take some shots of him alone. I started snapping away, and Steve started sweating. He began saying some really nice things. The photos I was taking show him sequentially fidgeting around, getting down on one knee, and proposing. I yelled in disbelief as the cars whizzed by on the bridge, snapping pictures of us instead.
We'd never been happier, but I felt overwhelmed by the idea of planning a wedding. As a project manager/producer, I plan things all day, every day for my job. The thought of coming home and doing that for us just exhausted me. In our families, the big catering hall wedding was the norm, but that didn't feel right for us. For two more years, our families asked us if we were ever going to do it already?!
Things shifted last Thanksgiving, after an emotional visit in Atlanta with my Nana, who was recently diagnosed with Parkinson's disease. It was the first time I'd been away from Steve for a long-ish period of time, and I really missed him. When I got back, we started talking about getting married on 12/12/12. We realized the fancy date was our 10-year anniversary, and, bonus: He'd never forget it!
I honestly don't remember where I heard that we could marry ourselves, but I confirmed it at the Clerk and Recorder in our town of Louisville, Co. We couldn't think of a more stress-free, truly beautiful way of joining our lives together. On the wedding day, we woke up, threw on jeans and sweaters, grabbed coffee at our favorite place overlooking the Foothills, went out to a delicious brunch, and waited in line for our marriage certificate.
It was clear and a beautiful 55 degrees when we hiked up to a gorgeous stone amphitheater overlooking Boulder Valley. We were alone, just us two, when we exchanged our vows. It was perfect! My version of the bouquet toss? Throwing my flowers off the mountain.
When we Skyped with our parents to deliver the news, I don't know that I've ever been so nervous in my life. My mom always said she's break my legs if we eloped. After their tears cleared, both my parents were smiling. We did it our way, and they would celebrate with us back in New York this summer, where we will exchange rings and smaller traditions that we saved for our families and close friends.
A lot of people have been asking me what it feels like to finally be married. I'd say it was like knotting a bow - finally complete.
- As told to Michelle Ruiz
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