Is putting yourself out there in the world and making a conscious effort to look for a life partner being desperate? Unfortunately, that is the perception sometimes, although not in my book. It seems that if you choose to do something out of the norm, like going to a conference or an event that would attract either men or women for the sole purpose of putting yourself out there to meet someone is taboo. I strongly disagree!
Since when was going after what you wanted considered desperate? It takes a tremendous amount of courage to stand up in our world of being independent and state that you are ready to find love in your life. I am talking about doing this from a strong, centered place of knowing who you are and having the desire to share your life with someone. There are far too many critics out there who are jaded from their own experiences that label this as "desperate." And, if you are a little desperate, what is wrong with that? Sometimes our desperation can shake something up inside of us into finally taking action. You just need to be very consciously aware of the choices you are making.
Personally, I had lived alone for over 20 years and looked at my life and realized that I could do the rest of it alone, or figure out a way to heal my own dysfunctional patterns in relationships and get out there and find someone who is a fit for me. This is exactly what I did. I was on a mission and I proudly claimed to all my friends that I was interested in getting serious about someone. I put myself out there, went to events, and did the internet dating sites…where I did meet my beloved husband.
I do not buy into the cliches, "when you're not looking love will find you," "if it is suppose to happen it will" or "let it happen organically." I have never been the kind of woman who sits back and just lets things happen. I am a doer. I have "to do" something to feel as if I am helping the Universe to co-create my life. That is after all why I was placed here. Not to sit back idly and allow the Universe to work magic. The magic comes from working with the Universe to help in co-creating your life's desires and passions. I believe in the Law of Attraction when we get off our butts and do something about it.
If you were seeking a job, would you not put yourself out there and let people know that you were seeking employment? Why is this any different? This is putting yourself out there to seek something that would fulfill your life in another capacity. It is being pro-active and taking charge of what you wish to bring into your life. It is proclaiming to the Universe that you are willing to help it along in manifesting your heart's desire. And there is something desperate about that because….????
Just as I love when an employee at my company takes charge and moves forward with a project, I love it when I see someone stand up and take charge of their personal life. There is nothing "desperate" about it, but rather empowering.
Do not be deterred by "relationship scrooges" as I like to call them. If you desire to have a healthy loving relationship in your life, stand up and proclaim it! You have this writer's support and success story, and will probably find more support from friends than you thought.