Photo: iStockPlaydates can be awesome, the perfect time to develop social skills, get support (or just out of the house), rant a bit, and maybe even make a friend or two. But getting one started? Totally intimidating. Here's how to do it.
Finding a date
If you don't have friends with similarly aged children then make some. You will be of great help to each other. Meetup.com is fantastic for new parents and I'll bet there is a mama (and poppa?) group close to you. I receive e-mail notifications about events taking place in my neighbourhood and if I'd like to attend then signing up is only a click away. I met my mother's group this way. Most of us were first-time moms and we learned so much from each other. We met weekly and when my husband took over the parental leave when I went back to work, he attended the Thursday afternoon meetings in my place! Although our toddlers are now turning three we still manage to get together a few times a year.
RELATED: Word of Mom! The Best Advice We've Had From Other Parents
Get chatty with parents you see in your neighbourhood. If they're at your local park, Early Years Centre or coffee shop with a stroller then chances are they live close by. Geography is important in the city. Scheduling play dates can be a tricky thing once you try to accommodate naps and mealtimes. It's nice having someone close by so that you can just call or text to see if they want to hook up. It's pretty easy to start up a conversation with a parent. Just ask her where she got her stroller, diaper bag or frog hat and you'll soon find out if she wants to chat or not.
RELATED: Wish We'd Known: Things No One Told Us About Baby #2
I met my newest mama friend at an appointment at the hospital and then months later at a Mexican grocery store when we were both ready to pop. We exchanged e-mails and now we just send a text if we want to get together or even just to report on the latest milestone/challenge/sleepless night.
Attending a playdate
My weekly mom's group met at a different mother's house every week and we all showed up with a snack to share. The organized mothers brought home-baked goods and the less capable (a-hem, me) brought hummous and veggies or salsa and tortilla chips. It's a good idea to bring your own bottle of water. You'll want to keep hydrated (particularly if you're nursing your baby) and it's nice for the host not to have too many dishes to wash once you all leave. The best snacks to provide are ones that can be eaten with just one hand and possibly without a plate!
RELATED: 10 Things We're Supposed to Learn From French Moms
For toddler playdates, it's best to show up with your own toddler snacks and a couple of toys (no more than two for fear of leaving them behind). No matter what toy you bring the host child will want to play with it which means that your child will then have free reign of all the host child's toys. For a few minutes there will be no toy- snatching toddler-tantruming. For a few minutes, I said.
RELATED: Awesomely Awkward Sibling Photos
Hosting a playdate
On a good day I'll provide the following on my favourite compartmentalized plastic party platter:
Hummous
Plain unsalted rice crackers
Julienned carrots, peppers and some other vegetable, if I have it
Sliced apple
Quartered grapes (so as not to be a choking hazard)
I know my snacks sound a little boring, but chances are the parent has a bag stuffed with packaged non-perishable treats for their little one so offering fresh and healthy snacks is not a bad idea.
RELATED: 9 Things You're Doing Wrong as a Mom
I also have a freezer full of bananasicles (one third of a banana impaled on a broken takeout chopstick, err, I mean popsicle stick) to offer. My toddler is the biggest fan of the bananasicle and at times eats three a day. While sitting in his booster seat at the kitchen table. It takes quite a while to eat a frozen banana. Are you starting to realize how useful this trick, I mean treat, is?
And the great thing about having sliced veggies is that not only are they easy to eat with one hand but also very useful should they not get eaten. Stir-fry, anyone? Or how about a topping on a pita pizza?
Oh, and if you have apple slices left over then you can easily make a grilled cheese and apple sandwich for the kids and/or parents should the date be going really well and a mealtime has crept up on you. I like to pull out my handy boxer-branded countertop grilling machine. I make the sandwiches, brushing the bread with olive oil, and grill away while someone else watches my boys. Easy peasy!
Okay, now get out there and start (play)dating!
Do you find it easy and enjoy playdates? Chime in now!
Melanie Hunter is a mom of two in Toronto. You can find more of her awesomeness at the blog she contributes to, Downtown Mama.
Connect with iVillage.ca:
There are no comments yet