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    Why Men Cheat in the Summer

    During the warm-weather months, men are more likely to be unfaithful. Here's what to look out for.

    By Victoria Lucia

    We hate to interrupt all the fun you are having at barbecues and pool parties these days, but there's some surprising news you need to know about: Summer is cheat season — the time of year when people are most likely to sneak around on their partners.

    And though chicks do their fair share of cheating, guys are more prone to being summertime two-timers because they're more likely to stray in general, says New York City therapist Diana Kirschner, PhD, author of the forthcoming Love in 90 Days.

    Related: When It's Time to Tame a Flirty Friend

    Of course, we're not saying that your man is definitely gonna step out on you by Labor Day. But it's a good idea to read the info below so you get a handle on why it may happen, plus the tip-offs that can tell you if more than his eyes have been wandering.

    Reasons Men Two-Time During Summer

    Remember when you were a kid and summer meant no school, freedom, and fun? Well, that attitude carries over into adulthood, leaving us with the sense that during these months, the usual rules don't apply. "Some men take this to mean that it's okay to cheat once the hot weather rolls around," explains Daniel Kruger, PhD, evolutionary psychologist at the University of Michigan at Ann Arbor. "They think, Oh, it's just a summer fling, as if normal couple behavior is on hiatus."

    That same outlook also makes people associate the summer with adventure. "Now is the time when you're more apt to try something new, and any novelty increases your body's production of dopamine, which triggers the release of testosterone — two chemicals associated with energy, elation, and sex," explains Helen Fisher, PhD, author of Why We Love. Translation: A guy may seek sexually charged situations and could give in if tempted.

    Related: Guys Confess: Why I Cheated

    People are also simply way more social in the summer. Balmy weather puts us in a happier, more gregarious frame of mind, drawing us together via lots of social events — like outdoor dining, backyard parties, and group trips to the beach. "With more people in a friendly, even flirty, mood coming out to socialize, there's a larger market of women to mingle with and, thus, increased chances for a man to be unfaithful," says Kruger.

    And let's not forget the obvious: When the temperature goes up, clothes come off. Since guys are so easily turned on by all the female skin they see poking out of sundresses, tank tops, and short shorts on the street and at work, they're in a constant state of heightened desire. As a result, it may be easier for them to succumb to lust should an opportunity arise.

    Signs Your Guy May Dog Around on You

    Watch out if he doesn't invite you to a work event that other coworkers' partners are attending, like an office picnic or rooftop drinks. "Not inviting you implies that he doesn't want his coworkers to know he has a girlfriend so he can flirt with someone else," says Kirschner.

    Related: The Truth Behind Why Men Cheat

    Also, though it's normal for guys to check out other women for a second or two, even if you're right there with him, be concerned if he's taking "more than a quick glance in front of you. It's a sign he isn't concerned with appearing faithful and may be open to playing around," says Kirschner.

    Another red flag is if he tells you that he wants to use his summer vacation to take a guys-only trip and doesn't set aside any time off to spend with you. True, he could really just want to hang out at the beach with his buddies. But he could also want to mess around out of town, where he's less likely to be caught.

    And take note if he's suddenly paying way more attention to his body. Because of the heat and sun, his torso will likely be exposed when he's out socializing. If he gets obsessive about waxing his back hair or lifting weights at the gym, his MO may be to attract other women, says Kirschner.

    Related: The Body Language of Liars

    Should you notice any of these tip-offs, it's a good idea to ask him if everything is all right and if he's happy in the relationship. He won't necessarily fess up, but it may give him the chance to admit that he's been feeling restless or bored.

    How to Keep Your Man Loyal

    True, you can't totally cheat-proof things. Damn. But you can at least reduce the number of opportunities your guy has to play around on you. One way to do this is to plan lots of summer activities for you two only — such as a playful afternoon-swim ritual at a lake or a private happy hour on your deck. "If he's spending a lot of time with you, he won't be able to catch the eye of other females," explains Mira Kirshenbaum, author of When Good People Have Affairs.

    And of course, keep your sex life on high boil. Luckily, summer presents tons of ways to be creative in this department. Ask him to go on a secluded bike ride with you, then make a pit stop on an empty stretch of road, and do the deed in the woods nearby. Or whip out Cosmo's Aqua Kama Sutra, and experiment with a few underwater maneuvers at the beach. "Mixing things up will leave him, and you too, satisfied and fulfilled and much less likely to wonder if he's been missing anything with other women," says Kirshenbaum.

    Related: 4 Signs He's Hiding Something

    Ultimately, however, your guy has to dig you enough to resist all the temptations that summer throws his way. If he doesn't and you find out he did stray, you may have to ditch him.

    HE STRAYED, NOW WHAT?

    Should you forgive him...or dump him? These questions will help you sort through the issue and decide.

    Was it a onetime thing or something more?
    Don't forget that, either way, your guy was still unfaithful and disrespected your bond. But it may be harder to put it behind you if it was an ongoing hookup or relationship rather than a one-night stand.

    Did he have sex with her or just mess around?
    A make-out session at a party is potentially more forgivable than getting naked with another chick or having full-on sex.

    Related: He Cheated. Experts Advise: Do You Take Him Back?

    Had you guys agreed to be exclusive?
    Unless you talked about being a monogamous couple — or you'd been together a long time and monogamy was truly implied — he may not have even realized he was cheating.

    Does he understand how big a deal it was?
    You need to be absolutely sure that he gets how much pain he's caused. A casual sorry doesn't mean much, but if you sense that he's legitimately devastated when he sees how hurt you are, it shows that he at least empathizes with what you're going through.

    Is he willing to make things right?
    It says a lot if he confirms that it'll never happen again, he doesn't want to lose you, and he will do anything to regain your trust. But if he plays down his cheating or doesn't want to discuss it, that's a bad sign.

    Has the relationship been good otherwise?
    If you really have fun together, feel that he respects you, and believe that he is a good person who made a mistake, then it may be worth forgiving him. If there have always been problems, however, or you have suspected him of deceiving you before, consider moving on.

    Read more at Cosmopolitan.com!

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    31 comments

    • Richard  •  11 months ago
      Surprise, surprise, surprise a female man hater. I think Dr. Diana Kirschner, PhD, may be part of the first wives club herself. Women cheat just as much as men that's a fact.
      • DLP 11 months ago
        nope, just a cheater hater maybe!!
      • scottandamanda2000 11 months ago
        Agreed, if anything women cheat more.
    • A Yahoo! User  •  11 months ago
      It takes two to tango.. and behind every cheating man is either a) a naive woman and b) a woman who doesnt care that womans messing with another womans man.
      • Rennie 11 months ago
        what about a woman who doesn't know the man is taken? ...
      • Aphrodites 11 months ago
        That is so not true.These cheaters are very good liars.They build you up.I had one that was visiting for two years before I did anything.So is that a summer cheater no.Anyway if they must cheat I suggest cheating with another cheater.That way you will not get caught.By the way he did get caught.Only because I spent the time to research him.Not all will givethemselves away they know how to hide.
      • Aphrodites 11 months ago
        I meant to say that is so true!
    • John  •  11 months ago
      Humm, when the wife stop or beeing less sexually active, then a man may look somewhere else, we are only human.
      • A Yahoo! User 11 months ago
        It works the other way around too !
      • scottandamanda2000 11 months ago
        women can get laid anything they want, men cannot moron.
    • Joe Nob  •  11 months ago
      This topic is completely on men. Women and men both cheat each other in the summer and on other occasion. So they shouldn't just point out men cheating on women. Women cheat too.
    • c  •  11 months ago
      Also in a case when a woman cheats the man will NEVER accept that and throw her out, but women unfortunately as suckers and weak and forgive, only to be mistreated again and again. So women learn to smarten up, and have self respect like men have. Stop being such wishy washy idiots, used and abused.
      • Sarah 11 months ago
        You're generalizing us as much as this article is.
    • Rennie  •  11 months ago
      maybe it's because all the girls are in short shorts and super low cut tops? that would make sense.
    • Gladys Jackson  •  11 months ago
      I am a man What can I say,I see both doing ther thing all the time.Time for a chane.Lets get back to old values.
      • Aaron Bright 11 months ago
        "Old values"? That was mostly pretend. Prostitution never disappeared. Ever think about that?

        How about the time honored tradition of having a mistress? There is an olf value. Face it, the values you speak of are your own personal ones, and there were no "good old days".
    • Potty Mouth  •  11 months ago
      Hogwash. Women cheat just as much as men.
    • Joy  •  11 months ago
      Ooooh he might not have even REALIZED what he was doing, poor baby. p.s. here's a hint: if everyone stopped accusing one gender or the other of being worse, and focused on getting a life and being a refreshingly half-decent person in the first place, we wouldn't have to worry about all this, would we? My advice is, never be involved with someone you can't trust! Is it that the fake drama feeds your ego? People just like to feel like they are living in some crappy sitcom? It will catch up with you someday; hope you're happy then.
    • edward  •  11 months ago
      For sure people in the northern hemisphere feel more alive in summer after the dreary winter months, so any activity is enhanced, cheating is just one of them.
    • OMG_OMG  •  11 months ago
      OMG!!! Behind every cheating man is a woman that let her weight get out of hand, FACT!
    • Leia Lee  •  11 months ago
      leave it to cosmo another empty brained piece of trash... how about something with a little bite to it!!!!!!
    • nonsence  •  11 months ago
      one sided nonsence
    • Lotus  •  10 months ago
      Cosmopolitan Magazine that is what this sounds like!, Can you Guys Post something with a great Story!! Yes it is Summer and I am sure there are Great Love Stories to share not this BS that you are trying to manifest at the start of a Great Summer Season. Lets Focus On Positive!! Thank YOU!
    • shawnmoody69  •  10 months ago
      i notice this article leaves out the fact that women cheat much more then men... must have been written by a woman
    • Dean Williams  •  11 months ago
      Summer means meat is out for view. So men get aroused. Winter in Canada is hibernation mode. Spring and summer are mating season just like with nature. Also men tend to cheat as wives get lazy in relationships and stop making love to their partners... initiating intimacy.. and more. It is not always the man who brings it on.
    • Larry  •  11 months ago
      piss off.
    • mikeyman  •  11 months ago
      women cheat as well..................not just the boys. actually, doesn't it take 2 to tango?
    • pancho villa  •  11 months ago
      Summer time.... when you're hot... you're hot!! Fewer clothes and cool green grass......
    • Extra M  •  11 months ago
      If men and women love each other enought, they don't cheat.
      If he/she cheats then tell him/her that you do not need games love then move on with one who is honest to you. Life is too short. It takes two to bring passion to bed and takes two to built a true love.
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