Go on a Date
Don’t wait for the perfect candidate. You need to remind yourself that you can, and will, go out with other men again.
“When it comes to your dating skills and your sex life ‘use it or lose it’ applies,” says Amy Levine, sex coach and founder of igniteyourpleasure.com. “While you don’t need to go out with a total dud, don’t say no to a dude that could be a Mr. Maybe or a Mr. Right Now – even if it’s just a one shot deal.”
The idea is to keep your libido humming. Another way is to develop a crush. Whether it’s on a celeb or the IT guy from your office, find someone to direct sexual energy at (even if it’s in secret).
Also see: The 10 Best Places to Have a Hot Summer Fling
Do the Thing He Hated
Was your guy a homebody? Spend time going out on the town. In fact, whatever the thing was that you never got to do because he wasn’t interested, do it!
“Now’s the time to reclaim your time, space, friends... your life,” says Yvonne K. Fulbright, Ph.D., author, Sultry Sex Talk to Seduce Any Lover. “While it’s admirable to be accommodating for a partner when involved, relish being able to do whatever you want to do when you’re solo. When you choose to get involved again, you’ll want to look back on this time and know that you lived life to the fullest as a single woman. It’s kind of a silent ‘eff you’!”
Get New Hair
Changing up your cut and color will make you feel sexy and refreshed. We’re not talking getting your ends trimmed -- trying out a new hairstyle can give you a new outlook.
“Getting a makeover, even if it’s just your hair, can get you over the break-up blues and unleash the new single, sexy you,” says Levine. “Not only will you feel pampered in the hands of a great stylist, you’ll undoubtedly smile when you see the outcome and that attitude could translate into meeting a new lover.”
Also see: Hair Inspiration Gallery: Trendy Short Bobs
Doing a boudoir photo shoot (with a cool, female photographer like Charise Isis sounds nerve-wracking, but stripping down for the camera can help you see yourself in a new (crazy, sexy) light!
“Pinup girl photo shoots can be such mood boosters because you’re giving yourself an opportunity to be captured as the sensual, sexual being you are,” says Fulbright. “It screams: ‘I don’t need a guy to be sexy, I’m the bomb all on my own and the camera loves me for it.’ It can help you own a sexual energy you’ve never known before and who knows, it might even lead to trying other new, experimental things.”
Remember, you do not have to think of yourself as a bombshell before you get there -- you will feel like a million bucks the second you are in the studio. Promise.
Moving your body is a powerful way to boost serotonin levels and your body confidence. Levine recommends S Factor erotic dance classes to her clients. “It’s an amazing experience – women only, no mirrors, no judgment!” she says.
If you’re not quite ready for that, yoga, Zumba or spinning are all great alternatives. Or if you want to get physical with a new partner, go for it. Whether it’s having hot, meaningless sex with someone you know you’d never date or even kissing a girl, now’s the time to do it. You have to let your body release all that tension and energy.
“Living out a fantasy can be part of the pleasure plan, so long as you’re doing it from an empowered place and you’re practicing safer sex,” says Levine.
Also see: Get a Ballet Dancer's Body with the Bar Method
Reconnect with Your Girls
When you were with he-who-shall-not-be-named, chances are you spent less time with the girls. Now’s the time to reconnect -- have a movie and cocktail night or hit the town and catcall some men. But keep it strictly girls night. This isn’t about picking up men. It’s about remembering how awesome it is to be a girl. Plus, Levine says that when you’re out with the girls and not on the prowl, men are more likely to vie for your attention because you’ll be giving off that I’m-having-fun-and-not-trying-to-be-noticed vibe.
“There’s nothing better than a sisterhood when you’re single,” says Levine. “The love, laughter, support, honesty and trust that you get from the women in your life is irreplaceable.”
Ditch His Digits
Remove him from your email address book and take his number out of your phone. Not only is ex texting NOT sexy, but the simple act of hitting DELETE can do worlds of good for your self-esteem.
“Cutting the cord is vital in moving on,” says Fulbright. “Getting rid of any temptation allows you to be more forward-focusing and enables you to avoid any embarrassing or regretful moments. Cleansing yourself of his presence in your life will open the doors for other opportunities.”
Also see: Avoid Your Ex Like Crack and 16 Other Ways to Get Over a Breakup
Go Back to School
Take an art class, a cooking class, a dance class -- not with an eye toward meeting guys but to explore your hidden talents and interests.
“Don’t allow yourself to have regrets by not taking the time to cultivate your own interests,” says Fulbright. “So many women who settle down early or who get caught up in their relationship and nothing else will often have regrets later over what they could’ve or should’ve done. These efforts are about enriching yourself, staying stimulated in other ways, and figuring out what you enjoy doing or what you’re good at - and that makes you all the more attractive, guy in the picture or not!”
Take a Vacay -- Solo
It’s how Stella got her groove back and you can do the same. Nothing boosts your confidence like being able to navigate a foreign city or far-flung destination on your own – and when you get back, you’ll wear that confidence in the sexiest of ways!
“Planning a trip to a place you’ve always wanted to explore is a great way to regain your self-confidence after a break-up,” says Levine. “Not only will it enrich your life experience, but it’ll surely make for great first date conversation.” Plus, don’t forget the fun in being a free agent while you are traveling.
Also see: 10 Cute Cover-Ups for Summer
Go on a Lingerie Spree
Buy sexy, new underwear for you, not for a guy to see.
“This puts the focus back on you pleasing yourself and reminds you that tuning into your sexual side is not just for a man’s pleasure,” says Fulbright. “It’s about treating and pampering yourself -- making you feel good for the sexy gal you are.”
Who knew panties could be so empowering?
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