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    How waiters judge you (and how to use it to your advantage)



    Every time you sit down at a restaurant you’re being sized up. It’s called “reading a table” and wait staff at fine dining and chain restaurants alike are trained in the technique, according to the The Wall Street Journal.

    Beyond flair, and memorizing specials, a good waiter can anticipate the needs of a customer at a glance. At chain restaurants around the country that's what they're being trained to do. Servers at Denny's, T.G.I Fridays, and Romano's Macaroni Grill are now taught to pay closer attention to the subtle  gestures and understated remarks of their customers. The goal for servers is twofold: give the customer a better dining experience by predicting their needs, and ultimately get a bigger tip.

    Some obvious signals servers are trained to look out for: Chatty, friendly parties who make eye contact with each other and their server. They’re more likely to be receptive to cocktail and dessert menus. They also might want a little personality and conversation from their waitstaff.  A table of suits on the other hand, may get an all-business order-taker with an attention to getting food to the table on time.

    At kid-friendly restaurants child psychology comes into play. If a kid hates greens, the waiter may tell the kitchen to drop the garnish on their burger. Come dessert, they discretely hand the menu to the table's resident mom to avoid any squeals or screams from the littlest diners. Clearly, mom's the "Alpha" at a family table, and "Alpha's" get the best attention from waiters, since they're considered the mood-setters for the group.


    Before you think you’re “unreadable,” here’s a question: has anyone ever asked if you want your salad dressing on the side or if you have any allergies? You may be what one table-waiting blogger calls the “control freak”.

    “This person has to play waiter, chef, and GM,” writes the restaurant industry insider under the pseudonym Teleburst. “This person can’t let the chef design a recipe without modifying it somehow.” If you look perturbed by the menu or rattle off a lot of requests and questions for your simple order, your waiter may try to soothe you by asking for direction on all aspects of your order. That doesn’t mean he or she really cares or is paying that much attention.

    “Reading a table requires that you somehow get into the head of the guest,” writes Teleburst on his blog about the server industry.

    Now that you know you’re being read, how can you use it to your advantage? Take a few tips from the pros.

    Dress up for a fast service: In waiter-speak, a dress, a pair of slacks and an early reservation mean efficiency is required. Whether or not you’ve got a movie to catch, the signal you’re sending is ‘buttoned-up’.

    For special attention at a large table, make the reservation: Servers look for the “alpha” of every table—the one who booked the table, took control of the drinks order, or leads the conversation. He or she is likely, if not to pick up the check, then to have the most sway over how people feel about their meals, and ultimately, the tip.

    For the biggest pour of a shared bottle of wine, grab the drinks menu first: That tells your server you’re paying attention to what’s in your glass. and they're likely to pour for you first every time the bottle comes around .


    For top-notch service: It all depends on what your looking for from your dining experience. According to the Journal's research, a “moody” customer who isn’t easily won over by server banter will likely get a most timely, detailed oriented service. Telling the waiter the meal was "okay" also suggests a passive-aggressive dissatisfaction that can lead to an "on the house" bonus.  On the other hand, a laid-back customer who enjoys a tableside chat with their server may not get the same speediness but according to  bloggers, they’re the gold standard. Winning over your server with a little bit of sugar can lock in your table  for the long haul during peak hours.  It could even translate in a heavier wine pour or a little something extra as a thank you from your server. Psychology aside, good karma goes a long way.

    For tips on how to order healthy of restaurant menus, watch the video below.

     
    • Gem  •  2 months ago
      Get rid of the freckin labels and just be a decent, understanding person - REGARDLESS of which side of the table you're on.
      • Toni 2 months ago
        Agreed. Be friendly, respectful, and genuine- not just nice to somebody so you get better service...
      • EH 2 months ago
        OR just nice to somebody so you get a better tip........
      • Caitlyn 2 months ago
        Or just be nice to somebody to get better serv.....oh wait, that's been used.
    • Klew  •  2 months ago
      I was once treated like shit once at a Keg because I requested an alternate vegetable due to an allergy. The plate came with the veg on it anyway and when I said I needed a whole new plate because I was afraid of cross contamination the waiter actually argued it with me. He reluctantly took it back but when a new dish was brought back I could tell it was the exact same plate because I could still see parts of the veg I am allergic to. I ate none of it but the waiter still insisted I pay for it. The manager finally came over and again reluctantly told me I didn't have to pay for my uneaten meal. Never been to that or any other Keg again. Obviously this "reading" the customer is as much a weapon as a service
      • L 2 months ago
        You did the right thing. I would not go back their either. I
      • Serpico 2 months ago
        I hope you didnt Tip!
      • ellen 2 months ago
        That's pathetic -- and dangerous on the part of the restaurant.

        I once was treated to a long, dark, curly hair cooked INTO the melted cheese of some potato skins. When I had the audacity to object (had just started eating), it was suggested that I had planted the hair in order to receive a free meal. According to the server, none of their staff sported that hair texture or color. I, myself, am blonde and do not pack a purseful of hair for free meals.

        I could eat no more of the meal and paid in full. Was glad to see the restaurant go out of business soon afterwards. Shameful service, that.
    • Samantha  •  Fredericton, New Brunswick  •  2 months ago
      I worked as a waitress for a couple of years, and I must say the nicer the customer, the nice I was to them in turn. Now, working at a call center, I get the feeling people believe that by yelling at me they'll have more luck getting what they want... Never the case. If you're friendly to someone, they'll show you a heck of a lot more appreciation than if you're a jerk.
      • L 2 months ago
        I agree.
      • A Yahoo! User 2 months ago
        Ditto. I also worked as a server/bartender for many years and am also now in a call center. Good manners, "Please" and "thank you" will get you much further than yelling at me. But the part about "reading the table" is spot on. A Group of business men will not appreciate you asking about the grandkids, but the table of blue hairs will chatter on with you. In the service industry it helps to match your tone and language to those you are serving - whether in person or on the phone. One thing I have definitely learned - slow down when talking to some southerners - I actually had one gentleman tell me "I can't think that fast, ma'am"
      • L 2 months ago
        I am always polite that is why I get the top notch service. I have had snotty servers. I just cancell my order, complain to management and leave. They won't get my business again. Some placed have gone out of business because they treat their customers so badly or serve icky food
    • Joleen  •  Fort St John, British Columbia  •  2 months ago
      As a server, I really DON'T like this article. Here's how I see things... I treat all customers in a respectful friendly manner no matter what they look like. I treat all customers equally whether I think they will tip well or not, or whether they are a "bitch" or not. I do my utmost to ensure that they are enjoying the dining experience, and I rarely make a mistake but when I do, I apologize and work hard to rectify the problem.
      Yes I can usually "read a table" but to me this means understanding if the customer is in a hurry or wants to be left alone, or if they would like suggestions on a meal or drink, or if they want to take their time and enjoy a leisurely evening out!
      I take allergies very seriously and find it frustrating when people LIE to me about an allergy just because they think I am too stupid to get the order correct. The kitchen takes extra time and caution with your food when I write allergy warning, so if you really don't like peppers just tell me please!
      One important thing a lot of people are unaware of is that I pay 3.5% right off my net sales every day as a tipout to the kitchen staff and management (yes this is fair, they work hard too). So if I ring through $1000 worth of items in a shift, an automatic $35 comes out of my pocket whether I was tipped well that night or not. On a large birthday party where grandma tips $5 on a $300 bill... well that hurts!! However when that happens, I have no choice but to smile and tell her to have a wonderful day and that I hope to see her again:) Karma always works out and the next table might tip $40 on a $100 bill.
      As per the automatic tip, I'm not sure where that actually happens, it is impossible on my restaurant's computer system to print a receipt with any tip added on it! A recent article got everyone all in a tither because some toronto restaurants had changed the tip OPTION button to 20%. Again, all that was about was the automatic tip OPTION came up as 20% which you can decline or CHOOSE another amount. Understandably if a tip was forced, I'd be an angry customer too!
      All tips are greatly appreciated big or small, and I certainly try not to expect them. I will still smile and greet you happily the next time even if you tipped nothing your last visit. Some people just don't agree with tipping and thats fine! I will still give you the best service I can:)
      Thank you for reading, if you've gotten this far down!
      FYI
      I make over $50000 a year serving in an awesome family restaurant. Have a super duper day:D
      • Ocren 2 months ago
        only comment worth reading... It is the same way with Retail. Have to treat everyone the same and differently at the same time
      • Eugenette 2 months ago
        I concur! I was a waitress/manager for 12 years and know that the biggest problem is almost NEVER the customer. This article is CRAP!
      • bubbleheart 2 months ago
        I liked your letter very much. I was a good and considerate waitress like you for 25 years, and I NEVER made that kind of money a year. I did resent the tip out to cooks and management, as they made a reasonable wage. I didn't mind tipping hostesses, bus-people, and dishwashers.
    • seeker_of_jobs  •  Hamilton, Ontario  •  2 months ago
      Good to know but it doesn't change how I tip. If the service is poor then the tip will always be poor. Irreguardless of how they "szie the table up".
      • Rick 2 months ago
        I'll bet you didn't know that 'irreguardless' is not a word. If you feel the need to correctly use the word, it's 'regardless'!
      • J.J. 2 months ago
        Rick: 'Irriguardless' is an adverb..therefore it is a word..
      • Rick 2 months ago
        J.J. Wow, that is funny. Try going back to school.
    • katcmak  •  Thunder Bay, Ontario  •  2 months ago
      I once ate out with a very mild-mannered man. When the waitress took his order, she suggested mashed potatoes, saying, "You look like the mashed potatoes type". Ahem ... hardly a winning line!!!
    • ...MoreIQthanU  •  Vancouver, British Columbia  •  2 months ago
      What I would like to know is how the tradition of tipping got to the point where some restaurants automatically add 20% to the bill ? And why is it that other businesses can afford to pay their employees a decent wage but waiters have to rely on tips ?
    • Karen  •  2 months ago
      Having been and hosted cleients in Restaurants for many years, there is only three things that gets me to come back and that is , good food , freindly professional service and a clean ainviroment. Dont forget the guest will give a good tip ,if he is kept happy, as he is spending the money that keeps everyone working!
    • JohnSomethingOrOther  •  2 months ago
      Went into a restaurant in Nanaimo, specified the allergies my wife needed accomodating.
      The place was hopping, we figured it would take a while.
      close to an hour later, the waiter came by and told us the kitchen lost our order.
      By now we're so hungry we're shaking. Get us our food ASAP. Thank you.
      The server offered to pay for my coffee. Whoopie.
      I go to the till to pay and the girl at the till asks me how it was.
      As I start to reply, she turns her back to me to chat with a girlfriend.
      Guess what I left for a tip. (Hint - zero)
      Guess how soon I never went back.
      Guess which restaurant changed hands in about 8 months time?
      Guess who still will never darken the door of that building?
    • ONE TRICK PONY  •  Regina, Saskatchewan  •  2 months ago
      If a restaurant ever wants to see my business again, they better forget all this phsychobabble and just bring me my meal as oerdered.
    • don  •  New Westminster, British Columbia  •  2 months ago
      Sure like how Boston Pizza treats you on a slow night.
      Seating is only available in the lounge.Oh you want to sit in the restaurant section..sorry we have no sever for that section,and it is closed.
      So you are not welcomed at this establishment if you do not sit in the lounge.
      Wake up BP as not everyone enjoys the noisy atmosphere while trying to have a conversation with your friends who are hard of hearing,and do not drink alcohol.
    • Andie  •  2 months ago
      When I get good service I tip well, when I get great service I tip even better, but I do have a problem with the tip of 15% automatically being added to the bill especially if I get lousy service. I will tip more than the 15% that is automatically added if I get really good service.
    • Andrew  •  Toronto, Ontario  •  2 months ago
      I am a waiter myself, and I'll say that I strive to be consistent at my service for every table. My priority is definitely the overall satisfaction of the customer and many times I'll get a smaller tip for great service but usually it doesn't bother me at all, unless the tip was very steep of course.

      Overall If the customer's experience is a great one or above average at least, then my experience is also great or above average. Karma is a good one.

      The weird thing that I noticed is, where I get the highest tip.
      Usually I get my largest tip through a table where there was 'adversity'. Which means I work hard at a solution and they definitely see that. When adversity happens, the customer can really see you 'go to bat' for them, if you work 'half-assed' in situations of adversity, then forget it, you 'dropped the ball', Game Over
    • Snipe  •  Langley, British Columbia  •  2 months ago
      As has been mentioned.... some establishments automatically add a tip to the bill.
      This to me then is NOT a TIP but rather an additional [possibly unannounced] service charge and is completely unacceptable! No eatery is EVER going to dictate what TIP I proffer; it's my choice based on multiple things: service, quality of food, variety, atmosphere and other subtle nuances the dining experience should provide.
      I'm not a difficult person to please [as I'm sure there are a plethora of those around], I just wish to enjoy my meal without stress.
    • True Blue  •  2 months ago
      40 years experience in the food businss - treat me well and with respect and the tip will be good!
    • Coug  •  Calgary, Alberta  •  2 months ago
      Howdy...Sometimez pizzez me off how some people treat thier waiters...They have a demanding job ta do and providing great service combined with dealing with people face to face all day iz hard work...Alwayz treat your waiter with some respect and courtsey...It panz out well during your time there and makex thier day a bit better...perkx are nice as well...and TIP, ya cheap buggerz...cheerz...coug
    • Starfish  •  Burlington, Ontario  •  2 months ago
      Along with my previous comment, I would like to add, (as a former waitress), that if you are not satisfied with your meal...SEND IT BACK. If I order a steak medium rare and it comes back well done, I am not going to suck it up. The server is NOT responsible for this, unless they have made a mistake in your order. When I go to a restaurant, it is the one night that I can expect to be SERVED....think about that, how nice it is for the average person to be served. Don't expect less than you want...but don't take it out on your server. Still, as I said, do NOT hesitate to send sub-par food back to the kitchen!
    • Eleni  •  Montreal, Quebec  •  2 months ago
      I recently went to my fave restaurant (popular chain) and it's 2 times in a row that the service was way below par. She was late with 2 glasses of rose wine (20 minutes) and our food which happened to be 4 plates of appetizers. When she noticed we were bewildered about why it was taking long (45 minutes), she pretended to look away. She blamed the kitchen saying that sliders take minimum 40 minutes to prepare-really?? To top it off, she mixed up the bills and never came back, we had to get up and look for her. It wasn't even a busy night so I don't get it :S ** Let's just say that the 10% tip I left her was way too generous for the lousy service we got **
    • rbbrduck  •  Ottawa, Ontario  •  2 months ago
      tips - To Improve Prompt Service.
    • Skeetr2  •  2 months ago
      I don't mind upselling by servers, but this one guy at Lone Star must have tried about six different upsells. It got to the point where I deliberately ordered refills on bread and drinks just to piss him off (because he was pissing me off). He was so fast with his speaking, he just wanted to upsell and didn't care at all about us. Won't be going back there.
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