Shine OnIn defense of the married mother
The Internet is buzzing today after a thoughtless, hateful post by self-proclaimed "powerhouse" writer Amy Glass titled, "I Look Down On Young Women With Husbands And Kids And I'm Not Sorry" was published on Thought Catalog.
Glass launches into a brief tirade about feminism and how married, stay-at-home moms are basically the scum of the earth, ruining opportunities for women everywhere.
As a relatively new initiate into the world of marriage (at age 23) and mommyhood (at 25), Glass' sharp, bullying words struck a chord deep within me.
I certainly don't feel that having a marriage or child is a "super easy task" that "literally anyone can do," the way Glass asserts. With divorce rates as high as 40% for first-time marriages, it might be easy for anyone to get married, but it is another thing to work day in and day out at having a successful marriage.
Same goes for parenting. The mental, physical and emotional fortitude that it takes to not only bring a child into this world but to then raise him or her to be a thoughtful, remarkable human being deserves nothing less than a standing ovation. There are no breaks, sick days or vacations, and for those who choose that path, we do it with a smile on our face and love in our heart because we know that what we're doing matters to someone – even if only ourselves.
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"If women can do anything, why are we still content with applauding them for doing nothing?" writes Glass, whose other pieces include "Here’s How To Cheat-Proof Your Relationship: Stay Attractive" and "Successful Women Do Not Fall In Love."
"I hear women talk about how 'hard' it is to raise kids and manage a household all the time. I never hear men talk about this. It’s because women secretly like to talk about how hard managing a household is so they don't have to explain their lack of real accomplishments," she continues. "Men don’t care to 'manage a household.' They aren't conditioned to think stupid things like that are 'important.'"
I don't think that stay-at-home parents call their work "hard" because they need to explain what they do all day – I think they describe their work as "hard" because it can be quite difficult to get all the things done in a day that keep a home and life running smoothly, while also caring for the needs of yourself and another human being. Sometimes, especially when caring for a newborn, eating a meal or finishing a cup of coffee before it goes cold is a real accomplishment. It's not Glass' place (nor anyone else's, for that matter) to belittle that feeling.
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As for Glass' closing argument that, "Doing laundry will never be as important as being a doctor or an engineer or building a business," I'd like to see the doctors, engineers and business people of the world carry out their duties without clean clothes.
If it weren’t for the selfless, thankless daily sacrifices of stay-at-home moms (and dads, too), people like Glass would not have the luxury nor the opportunity to pursue the important activity of "being exceptional" (whatever that means) that seems to be the ultimate goal for her.
If women like Glass spent half as much time supporting one another and building each other up instead of tearing each other down and posturing over who has the 'better' life, there wouldn’t even need to be a discussion of feminism – because women would rule the world.
As for me, I'll take the joy my husband and son bring to my so-called "average" life over whatever it is Glass is trying to find hands down, any day.
