28 Ways to Teach Your Children to Love Their Bodies
We can all agree it's important to teach our children to have a healthy self-esteem, to eat well, exercise often and love their bodies. The question is: how? Below are our experts' best tips for how to be a positive role model for your kids so that they grow up healthy, strong and confident about the way they look.
1. Love your body. If you don't feel good about your own body, it will be difficult for your children to feel good about theirs. Remember: we are our children's guides. -Jennifer Kelman
2. Pay attention to how you speak about your body. How often do you say things like, "I'm so fat?" If you speak like that about your body, your child will begin to parrot those exact sentiments. -Jennifer Kelman
3. Remember: fat is not a feeling. When we say things like "I feel so fat," we teach our kids to use their bodies to describe their feelings. Eating disorders and poor body image develop when feelings are pushed down and too much focus on the body takes place instead of allowing real feelings - e.g. sadness, happiness, anger - to emerge. -Jennifer Kelman
4. Involve your children in sports and other physical activities. This is one of the greatest ways to instill positive body image. Through sports and other physical activities, kids gain self-esteem through the mastery of sport. They learn to love their bodies for what their bodies can do rather than what their bodies look like. Instill the love of sports and physical recreation at a young age to make this a life-long love. -Jennifer Kelman
5. Place less emphasis on what your child eats. Rather than keeping a prying eye on your child, worrying whether they will get fat, and commenting on what or how much they are eating, pull back a bit. If you know that you are providing healthy meals, then you don't need to be the food police. The more you focus on it, the more your child will too ... and not in a good way. -Jennifer Kelman
6. Spend quality time with your child. Kids develop healthy self esteem and a sense of efficacy over things by spending wonderful times with their parents. Praise your child when it is warranted but don't over-praise because then your child will only be able to feel good about themselves when being praised. The goal is for them to develop an internal sense of pride and healthy esteem and body image and that comes from you, the parent, laying the groundwork. -Jennifer Kelman
7. Choose your words wisely. Virtually all of us can think of one or more personal insecurity that was a result of someone's unkind words. Your children look up to you. Therefore, they are naturally susceptible to your criticism. If you make it a point to be more mindful of what you say, specifically when you are angry or frustrated, it can be the difference between healthy self-confidence and low self-worth. -Alicia Cramer
8. Give appropriate praise and recognition. We all thrive on positive recognition for a job well done. When parents forget, or get too busy to notice exceptional work on a project or a winning performance, children become discouraged. Studies show that positive recognition can boost a person's performance and increase self-esteem. -Alicia Cramer
9. Apologize when you make a mistake. It is okay to not be perfect. Sometimes we may say or do something to our children that in retrospect we regret. When we make mistakes it can be valuable to acknowledge it to our children and apologize. The benefits are twofold: First, we are teaching them to take responsibility. Second, we avoid creating significant trust issues which in turn positively affects their self-confidence. -Alicia Cramer
10. Begin incorporating healthy "family time" activities. Children are - in large part - a product of their environments. When you regularly incorporate fun, healthy, family activities into your routine, you teach your children healthy habits. Anytime you associate positive emotions with healthy activities, you improve the chances of creating long-term behaviors. Furthermore, there is significant value in your children seeing you enjoy healthy activities. Remember, your influence is critical in their development! -Alicia Cramer
11. Work on your own self-image. Children are very sensitive to your feelings and beliefs. If your child chronically senses (or hears) your dislike for yourself (including your body), they are more likely to form similar associations with their own body and life. There is good news; you can begin creating new positive loving beliefs right now! As you take proactive steps to improve your own self-image, your children are also likely to do the same. -Alicia Cramer
12. Create a safe-zone for expressing feelings. When a child has a bad day at school or a coach said something hurtful at practice, it is important for them to feel safe communicating it with you. Many times children will hold in their feelings, concluding that there is something wrong with them. Clearly this can contribute to some self-worth challenges. However, when discussed, frequently we can help put the situation into a new context allowing them to learn from the experience without internalizing it in a negative way. -Alicia Cramer
13. Consider hiring a professional. If your child is depressed or you notice symptoms of an eating disorder, it may be important to get professional assistance. There are many different types of helping professionals, choose someone that both you and your child feel comfortable with. Your child's well-being should always be your priority. While it may be uncomfortable to face these types of challenges, it is critical. Always be mindful of your child's physical, mental and emotional health. -Alicia Cramer
14. Watch what you say. Imagine that every negative comment you mutter about your body is a scorpion bite with venom. Avoid bad thoughts and comments at all costs! Watch your kids pick up on your positive vibe and become much happier in the process. -Tatiana Abend
15. Compliment yourself and others. Make a list of three things that you really like about your body such as a great skin tone, an engaging smile, graceful hands. Then, go out and set the good example! When with family, compliment them on what you find attractive about them, such as pretty hair, or how you love it when they laugh with joy. Self-esteem will follow naturally! -Tatiana Abend
16. Prioritize properly. Sometimes we put too much emphasis on being attractive as the key to everything in life. Teach yourself and your kids that problems should be separated out and prioritized. Tackle each of life's main areas (health, money, community, education, relationships, etc.) and look to make good, healthy, all-around progress by setting appropriate goals in each area. This will boost self-confidence. -Tatiana Abend
17. Remember: looks aren't everything. Teaching your kids a positive body image is also about teaching ourselves and those around us that beauty is far from everything in life. Despite what the media says, we are not designed to be only egotistical and image-conscious individuals who need to acquire many items and enter in a permanent quest to be "cool." Teaching healthy self-confidence and loving one's body sometimes means not focusing all too much on what is in the mirror. -Tatiana Abend
18. Learn to take a compliment. If you receive a compliment, what do you say? Do you instantly negate the comment with another comment that downplays or degrades you in some way? Being able to receive compliments with a "thank you" boosts self-esteem and others will take notice. -Tatiana Abend
19. Look inward instead of outward. Magazines, movies and Hollywood tell your children how they should look on the outside but forget to show them how to develop inner beauty. Without teaching the importance of inner beauty, your children may lack the confidence, certainty and passion to pursue who they are designed to become. -Cory Couillard
20. Encourage positive role models. Your children are likely to become the average of the five people they hang out with most. Their attitudes, beliefs and lifestyle habits will become contagious and soon you will find them expressing the same opinions. Teach and communicate the importance a healthy circle of friends that encourages and empowers each other. -Cory Couillard
21. Skinny does not mean healthy. Regardless of what you weigh, your lifestyle is the determining factor of overall health. Anyone can be skinny if they starve themselves or follow strange diets, but skinny does not mean healthy. Choose a healthy diet, exercise regular and manage your stress to achieve optimal health throughout life. -Cory Couillard
22. They do what you do. This can range from eating your vegetables, exercising daily and managing your stress to the best of your ability. Do you have a healthy group of friends that facilitates and encourages healthy living? Your children can be your best accountability partners. If they see that you are committed, they are more likely to follow suit. -Cory Couillard
23. Live a life of purpose. Understanding that healthy lifestyle factors such as diet, exercise and stress management will provide your body with the resources to reach one's potential. Passionate and purposeful living is contagious and will inspire your children and loved ones to pursue their passions. -Cory Couillard
24. Create an environment of excellence. Reward healthy behaviors versus punishing unhealthy choices. This will encourage children to desire positive versus negative lifestyle factors. Improved fitness, dietary choices and life management will become positive habits that bring one closer to their goals, dreams and desires. -Cory Couillard
25. Words pierce developing minds. The power of spoken words can create or destroy the mindset and health of a child. Speak into your children's life and encourage them that they will leave a unique mark in this world. Positive reinforcement encourages and empowers versus focusing on the negative. -Cory Couillard
26. You are perfect the way you are. Comparing pants size, bra size or shoe size will create an unrealistic and unachievable desire for many. Accepting who you are is realizing you are not someone else. Each and everyone one of us is unique and we need to focus on what we can control versus what we cannot. A healthy lifestyle is something we can. -Cory Couillard
27. Growing up requires growing up. Growing is a continual improvement like education over many years. Many challenges are needed in life to develop strong character, integrity and perseverance. Provide an environment of continual growing and learning to achieve balance socially, professionally and personally. -Cory Couillard
28. Clean out the junk. A healthy diet is only achievable if you do not have the bad choices in your pantry. If you have ice cream, soda and potato chips available instead of carrots - which will be eaten? You and your children are a product of your environment, it's spring cleaning time. -Cory Couillard
Written by Tatiana Abend, Jennifer Kelman, Alicia Cramer, Cory Couillard for YourTango.com.
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