by Gena Kaufman, Glamour
Because girl, surviving a breakup is a marathon, not a sprint.
After a devastating split, it's hard to get your groove back. What's even worse is that getting over it doesn't happen all at once. Just when you think you're over it, you get hit with another wave of sadness.
It's taken me about a year to feel fully like myself after my big, life-changing breakup. Along the way, I spent a lot of time beating myself up for not moving on in a speedier fashion but looking back, I can see that only hurt my progress. What I should have done instead was to be proud of myself for every step I took, and when I felt discouraged and set back, looked forward to the next goal.
Don't repeat my mistake. Pat yourself on the back for each of these little mile markers on your way to a full recovery.
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1. The first morning he's not the first thing you think of when you wake up.
2. The first night he's not what you're thinking about as you try to fall asleep.
3. The first hour that passes without you checking your phone to see if he's called.
4. The first day that passes.
5. The first week.
6. The first month! (Breakup? What breakup?)
7. When you go ahead and just delete his number from your cell phone.
8. When you de-friend him on Facebook and stop following him on Twitter.
9. AND when you stop asking your mutual friend to update you on any pictures of new girls.
10. When you find a spare pair of his socks you forgot to give back post-breakup, and it doesn't reduce you to tears.
11. The first time a random guy hits on you and you're all, "Yep, still got!"
12. The first time you flirt with another guy because you're genuinely interested, not to prove you've still got it.
13. When your song randomly plays on Pandora, and you don't cry.
14. Your first date with someone else, even if it's bad.
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15. Your first really good date with someone else.
16. The first time you order the whole pizza with delicious mushrooms he always made you skip on half
17. The morning you wake up sprawled across the bed instead of curled up on your half. It's all yours now and you love it.
18. The mutual friend's party you both had to attend. Sure, you spent three hours primping and another three crying after, but you survived, didn't you?
19. The day you run into him and you honestly don't even care that you just came from the gym.
20. When you're changing into your pajamas at night and you realize he bought you the shirt you've been wearing all day. You didn't even remember that this morning!
21. The first major holiday you get through on your own. Good news, your chance for this is coming right up!
22. When your boss compliments you on how much butt you've been kicking at work (not being distracted by drama is doing wonders for your professional life).
23. When you buy a new couch, or get a puppy, or do anything that's for your future and no one else's
24. That wedding you attended plus none.
25. When you finally realize you genuinely don't want to be with him anymore.
26. When you hear through the grapevine about his new girlfriend and you're happy for him. Well, a tiny tiny bit.
If you've passed some, any or most of these milestones, go treat yourself immediately. I suggest a cupcake, as in my expert opinion, breakup survival must burn as many calories as long distance running.
What little victories do you celebrate when you're getting over a breakup? Do you make sure to give yourself credit for little milestones? What post-breakup action are you most proud about?
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by Gena Kaufman, Glamour