Discover Yahoo! With Your Friends

Explore news, videos, and much more based on what your friends are reading and watching. Publish your own activity and retain full control.

To get started, first

YOUR FRIENDS' ACTIVITY

5 Things Good Partners Say to Each Other

Redbook – Thu, 16 Feb, 2012 3:18 PM EST

By REDBOOK

In the same way that knowing a few key questions makes it easier to navigate a foreign country ("Où est la toilette, s'il vous plait?"), a few rudimentary phrases can help see you out of a relationship rough patch.

Be honest: Says veteran marriage counselor Randi Gunther, Ph.D.: "In my 40 years of listening to couples, I've noticed that the best communicators use the same words, and I'm always surprised by how few people know them." Practice these if you want your relationship to last longer than the average trip to Paris.

Related: 26 Fun, Cheap Date Ideas

1. "We're in this together." Says Gunther, "Marriage is full of trials. If your spouse tells you he lost his job, for example, you have less than five seconds to react in a way that bonds you and proves that your relationship is stronger than any difficulties. Let that window pass, and doubts arise."

2. "You're better at this than I am." "It's a huge asset to a relationship if both partners can own up to their weaknesses. If he's better in the kitchen, don't try to manage--step aside and thank him for cooking you something delicious!"

Related: 6 Things Men Hope You Love About Them

3. "I'm angry." "People often say they're not angry to avoid arguing, but that only prolongs a situation. Being able to express your emotions precisely and honestly gets you where you need to go faster."

4. "Please tell me what's going on." "This is the best thing you can say to open doors in an argument. It lets your partner know you're present, you're listening, and you want him to talk to you."

Related: Weird Signs He Loves You

5. Anything you say face-to-face. "We live in an age where people tell computers and iPhones how they feel. Reading I'm sorry you're sad doesn't have the same effect as hearing those words and seeing the empathy. Couples who are actually there for each other, physically and emotionally, are much closer."

More from REDBOOK:

Permissions: Reprinted with permission of Hearst Communications, Inc.

@YahooShineCA on Twitter, become a fan on Facebook

All Comments

42 comments

Robert • Mt Royal, Quebec • 2 months ago
Treat your wife like you did on the first date...my bride (although 23 years ago) is still my bride.Never had a fight or went to bed angry. Listen..works for me, there is a ton of wisdom and unbiased opinion there... I always listen and acknowledge. Generally, she's right more often than not.
- Edwin Spanksworthy 2 months ago
  Awesome, Robert. What I notice on here is that it's the men who are disrespectful of women who are angry and bitter with them. I don't know if it occurs to them that they are part of the problem (or maybe the whole problem). If their attitude is that their woman is a "gold-digging user", then maybe she figures she may as well act like one or maybe that's what he attracts. Men who hate women are not going to attract good women, so having that attitude attracts females with low-self esteem or who have issues and who then fulfill the guy's expectation that women are messed up. I am sure your attitude attracted a great gal. Thanks for your comment.
- Romo 2 months ago
  ur whipped ...
- SuperKev420 2 months ago
  And romo, your single.
More

Reply
donny brook • Burnaby, British Columbia • 2 months ago
why are the articles always written for women when the comments are all made by men?
- Samuel Sardinski 2 months ago
  Its because we're all looking for articles written for men :P
feminists are stupid thro ... • Toronto, Ontario • 2 months ago
here's a good one.Don't expect your mate to read your mind
- bc 2 months ago
  So true! Especially for women. Women believe that men are thinking the way they do. Or if they explain something once, that he will remember it again.
  
  Perhaps same goes for men, but my experience is that women tend to be more detail oriented. (Not saying all women or all men are this way).
  
  But for sure, do NOT just think another knows exactly what you mean by "hinting". Say things outright. Even if it means a bit of conflict at first, it can be such a good thing to just say it like it is. With decorum of course.
  
  But, the other hint, don't discuss important things in front of the tv. No one will remember, other than the person with more at stake. .
ar • 2 months ago
Yeah, I get my marriage counselling from Yahoo, and I use Facebook for my social life. There is nothing wrong with that, millions of people are as pathetic as I am.
Jeannie • Montreal, Quebec • 2 months ago
*:Never let a girl assuming nothing *: Don't expect too much *: Say what u feel in the correct moment *: let ur partner know that you're there for.... *: Never compare her with another girl *: Try to share the good & bad things that are happening in ur life :* don't forget this significant words" Please " I'm sorry", " thankss " etc...
- A Yahoo! User 2 months ago
  nice but woman do not want that,then they say he`s soft,wimpy.Why don`t more woman say it doesn`t hurt there or mmmmm thats warm in my belly
- tim 2 months ago
  Looks like this guys going to show us what bad is.......
  you talk like that, maybe youre with the wrong gender and just dont know it yet.
- Jeannie 2 months ago
  Yea tim your right , maybe he is with the wrong gender :p & maybe he's trying to impress with something childish !
More

Reply
Todge • Squamish, British Columbia • 2 months ago
"anything" you say face-to-face??? Seriously, anything??
- bc 2 months ago
  No kidding. Tell a man to do something different (than he is) for better results or to avoid RUINING something, is a NO NO, until one knows how to tread the minefield of male EGO. For some alien reason, men do NOT like to be told how to do something. See my thoughts for examples on another post. Thanks for the ??? love it.
m1e3r6 • 2 months ago
Nice article!
pinky • Winnipeg, Manitoba • 2 months ago
I think relationships should include: 1) trust 2) patience 3) understanding 4) give some space from time to time 5) humour 6) dress classy or cute in public but sexy in bedroom
Geep • 2 months ago
Well, I've got number 3 down :)
The Supreme Rule is to realize you are blood now. You are family. You don't divorce your sister because she is being a jerk, you deal with it.
Citygirl • Edmonton, Alberta • 2 months ago
I think the biggest rule is there is a bigger world out there in regards to your partner, don't let the world revolve around them, and don't suffocate each other. We all need to breath. So #6 should be - See you later, be safe and have fun............and really mean it
Todge • Squamish, British Columbia • 2 months ago
You're smokin' hot.
cdjwathome • 2 months ago
Say what you feel. Any relationship where you have to walk on eggshells or be a wimp isn't one worth having. Women won't respect that and they'll end up stomping all over you. Some men must like being yelled at and bossed around though because I see it a lot.
A Yahoo! User • Toronto, Ontario • 2 months ago
how about " why don`t you invite your Asian friend Amy over for a movie "
Terry J • 2 months ago
It's all about listening. Put down the Blackberry, turn off the TV and TALK to each other.
jon • Toronto, Ontario • 2 months ago
#12- Sweetcheeks... I won the Lotto Max...pack ur bags and get a lawyer...
Juanita • Kitchener, Ontario • 2 months ago
Laugh a lot specially if one partner is angry.
Peny • Niagara Falls, Ontario • 2 months ago
RESPECT!! Sounds like a song that is so often forgotten. Golden rule...Do onto others as...... Maybe a way to stay closer is to stay focused to each other, not so much on that hot cutey that just passed. Either way communication,respect & "containing" yourself may help in that little thing they call " LOVE" Or just stay single and only have to put up with that person in the mirror. That's could be a long term commitment in itself.... Love & Learn..
King • 2 months ago
Know when it is that time of the month and avoid her. If she barks at you smile and say "honey I am truly, truly sorry, I am such a dumb idiot" she will love you more for it.
Dark • Montreal, Quebec • 2 months ago
How about...here honey, have some chocolate!
mick • Regina, Saskatchewan • 2 months ago
if she says you never complete anything... just say I thought I completed you!